Love is a Battlefield
by shesheinhouston
Summary: No way Olivia doesn't stand up for herself when Rafe confronts her. Who knows, if she does then maybe they can hash out some sort of peace between them. Cause Nat is back and she wants Olivia in every way possible.
1. Chapter 1 Maneater

Disclaimers: I do not own these characters; I believe P & G or Telenex or someone besides me does. I am only writing this for fun and because TPTB have messed up the storyline.

Fandom: Guiding Light

Pairing: Olivia and Natalia

Rating: T/PG for the first few chapters but others may be M/PG-15

Overall Summary: This multi-part story is my attempt to get the story back on track and the ladies together where they belong.

Chapter Summary: Rafe confronts Olivia and she tells him off. No way she wouldn't!

Spoilers/Rumors: Rafe confronts Olivia at the wedding; Olivia in handcuffs; Ashlee and Rafe confide in each other; Natalia comes back knowing what she wants, and unfortunately she comes back pregnant.

Notes: Please ask before archiving. Thanks to Erin Bree for being my beta reader, and to my girl Krazy, who inspires me.

Love is a Battlefield

By Shesheinhouston

2009

Chapter 1 - Maneater

"You gonna break up this wedding, too??"

Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath Olivia thought, just ignore him. He's just a boy missing him mom and trying to act like a man. But it had been a hard couple of days and quite frankly, she was tired of his shit. Maybe if she answered his question he'd just go away.

Turning to face him, she answered. "That's what you think; that I broke up the wedding? What… where you not there??"

"Yeah I-"

"No, you don't get to talk now. I get to talk! You want to be a man? Then act like one. You asked me a question; now face my answer. Or, are you still a little scared boy?" It was more like a statement than a question.

"Don't push me." His face close to hers.

"What? You'll hit me? Is that the way you still deal with your problems, with violence? Did you learn nothing the last year or so?" She could see the tightening of his jaw as he fought for control. "Good to see that you learned something after all."

She was in his face now, but she had to give him credit, he wasn't backing down. "I stood there…. at that altar, with tears in my eyes, and watched the person I loved the most in the world say vows to someone else, knowing that she would never say them to me." Now she could feel tears forming again as she fought for control of her emotions. "I was prepared to let her go, Rafe. But she decided not to go through with it. It was her decision; not mine."

Olivia could tell by the look in his eyes that he didn't quite believe her. Well, the more she thought about it, what did it really matter, since she wasn't sure that she and Natalia were still together. "You know what? I don't give a damn whether you believe me or not. I'm tired of feeling like I have to handle you with kid gloves. This discussion is over." With that, she turned to go, determined not to be the floor show and ruin the wedding, only to be roughly turned around.

"You think ya can just screw up people's lives and not pay for that?"

"What about my life? Emma's? She left us!! We were supposed to be a family. You, me, your mother, Ava, and Emma… God, we were going to finally tell her about us." She couldn't help it the tears started to flow.

The last part had come out so softly that he almost didn't hear it. "Finally?? Stop lying, Emma knows; she told me!"

At the auburn haired woman's incredulous look, Rafe continued. "I saw the Two Mommies' thing. Emma said that everybody knew you two loved each other and stuff."

"As friends. We didn't tell each other how we felt until the day of the wedding. Months after Family Day when Emma had showed everyone how she thought of us all as a family."

"No... she said… I mean she sounded so sure." He was running his hand through his dark hair and staring at the ground. He looked so much like his father.

No wonder he was mad, she thought. He thinks that he was the last one to know. "Look, if you want to go somewhere and talk about this, we can."

"No… I gotta think... about stuff. I… I gotta go."

"Rafe!" He never looked back. Now he reminded her of his mother; when things get tough, just up and run.


	2. Chapter 2 She's Got a Way About Her

Chapter 2 – She Has Away About Her

He didn't know where to go. Rafe only knew that he couldn't stay there and listen to Olivia's lies. They had to be lies. If they weren't, then the things that he said to his mother were even more hurtful than when he had uttered them. Blindly, he started past the other wedding guests, only to be slowed by the sound of a woman's laugh.

Glancing over, he saw a shock of blond hair and a curvy body. When the woman turned, the first thing he noticed was her smile. When he looked up into her eyes, his widened in awe as the woman was none other than Ashlee Wolfe. She gave him a slight smile before turning back to listen to what her companions were saying, and he continued on to the grove of trees right beyond the field, where he could think in peace.

Fifteen minutes later he still had not made any concrete decision, but the wedding was about to start, so he headed back. Right before he took his seat in the back, he felt someone come up behind him.

"You're not having a good time." He turned around to see his former love, Daisy, watching him intently. "What's wrong, Rafe?"

"Nothing to sweat bout."

"I don't know, you and Olivia looked like you were talking about something pretty heavy earlier."

"I don't want to talk bout it, all right?" It came out more forcefully than he had wanted. He could tell that he had hurt her feelings and that was the last thing he wanted, since they had recently became friends again. "Sorry... it's just that I got a lot on my mind, ya know?"

"Hmm… you mean about your mom and Olivia?" She asked quietly.

Huffing he replied, "Friggin' great. Does everyone know?"

"I'm not everyone, Rafe; I'm your friend. And no one told me. Between what you said a while back about them lying to you, and me overhearing my Uncle Frank talk about how he and Olivia made some sort of peace about her and Natalia... I just sort of put it together."

Part of her wanted to reach out and touch his face. He was in so much pain, but she didn't want him to get the wrong impression. She cared for him, even loved him in a way, since he was her first love, but she was not in love with him.

"I just don't get it... why her? I mean she's a royal bitch."

"So... it's not really about your mom being with a woman... it's more about that woman being Olivia?"

"Maybe... I guess. I mean... yeah it's sorta freaky that she's with... ya know a woman.. but if she had to go there, why not with somebody who I know won't hurt her?"

"How do you know that Olivia will?" She asked, narrowing her hazel eyes at him. "She's been there for your mom… and you."

"Right.. by having the whole town talk about us."

Shaking her head, Daisy thought about how within the last two years or so the town had reason to talk about all of them and most of their family members. Between her getting pregnant, Rafe's father dying causing him to go off the deep end a bit and accidentally shoot Jeffery, and add in her pulling a gun on Alan Spaulding after her uncle Coop's death and yep, there was enough to keep the town talking for at least the next two years.

"Rafe... I think we've all done enough to keep the town talking. All I'm saying is that Olivia got you that job in the prison library, she—"

"Hold up. She did that? I thought that Frank had done that?"

"No, I'm pretty sure it was her. I heard my uncle say that he was glad that Olivia had some pull, so that things would be a bit easier for you."

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Well, he was sure if it was true, it was because she was only trying to get to his Mom through him. "If Olivia did do that, it was only to get to my Mom."

"If Olivia did what, exactly, concerning your mother?" They hadn't heard Frank Cooper approach. "What's going on, you two?"

"Nothin' Frank we're just talkn', that's all."

"Uh, huh. And why don't I believe that it's nothing? Daisy?" He asked his niece. "Care to tell me what's going on?"

"It's not my place, Uncle Frank. Plus, I need to go help Ashley with wedding stuff."

"Yeah, I'm gonna go help, too."

"Not so fast." Frank said before stopping Rafe from leaving. "Talk to me. What's going on?"

Shoving his hands in his pants pockets, Rafe took a deep breath and tried to explain to his mentor. "Daisy said that it was Olivia and not you that got me that job in the joint. Is that true?"

"Yes, it's true. She also helped your mother to hire the lawyer that defended you. So, what's your point?"

"So, even back then, she was after her. Why didn't we see it?"

"Because I don't think that's true." Sighing Frank continued. "Look, I've had a lot of time to think about things. And if Olivia was really after your mother back then, like you think, then why would she push the two of us together? She was the one that told me what your Mom liked. That's how I was able to make such a good impression on our first date."

"I donna know... I mean its Olivia Spencer we're talking about. She's experienced; ya know... she probably had some plan or somethin' for getting my Ma."

"At first I thought something like that, too. But now that I've had some time and distance to put things in perspective, I'm not sure anymore. More and more I've come to believe that Olivia truly wanted your mother to be happy and, at the time, she thought that I could do that."

Great, thought Rafe, another Olivia convert. "All I know is what I see, Frank."

"And what's that, besides your mom suddenly gone away to a retreat, and Olivia sadder than I've ever seen her? Look, you're a man, so I can't tell you what you should do. I can only tell you how I've dealt with this. Olivia and I talked. Yes, it was hard to do it, but I'm glad I did. And, as I told her, I don't want to move forward with any bitterness. So, we've made a peace of sorts." Looking Rafe straight in his eyes to make sure he got his point, Frank continued. "It'll take me a while to totally get used to it, but if she and your mom want to make a try at being together, I'm not going to stand in their way. I'm moving on with my life."

****

The wedding went on without a hitch which really surprised everyone since Alan had well made clear his thoughts that his granddaughter marrying into the "Hillbilly Lewis Clan" meant the end of the world. Speaking of the Spaulding Family patriarch, he was headed his way. Still reeling from his talks with Olivia, Daisy, and Frank, the last thing he needed was to get into a heated discussion with his grandfather about Rafe's "lack of ambition".

It wasn't like he wasn't working but he was sure that being a part-time salesman at a hardware store wasn't what Alan thought that someone with the Spaulding bloodline should be doing. Well, let him give his little "the company is our legacy" speech to a grandson who cared like James. His goal was to keep working at this job until either something else here came along or his parole was through and he could look outside of Springfield for work. In fact, the more he thought about it the more the latter sounded like the best idea. "Yeah, that's what I'll do."

"Rafe, are you talking to yourself? I've never known you to do that but then I haven't seen you for a while."

"Uh, hey Ash. You... um... look good." And she did. He especially liked her hair up like that. It made her stark blue eyes stand out even more.

Blushing she started to thank him only to be interrupted. "Rafael, there you are. I'd like a minute of your time to discuss... family things."

"Sorry, Alan, but Rafe promised to dance with me." And with that she pulled him by his arm towards where several couples including the bride and groom were swaying to the music.

"Yo, Ash thanks for helping' me out back there."

"I didn't just do it for you; I don't like Alan Spaulding very much." she replied as she placed her left hand on his shoulder. "Plus, I want to say that at least I got to dance once at this thing."

"I can't believe that no one has asked you to dance. I mean you look... you know... hot and all." At the look on her face he hasten to amend, "Uh, I meant that you look like I said before, you know, nice."

"I rather like being called hot." She smiled as he took her other hand in his. "So, what do you think of the two love birds finally getting together? Neat, huh?"

"I guess so. I mean at least one Springfield wedding finally got off without too much trouble."

She could tell by his furrowed brows that he was probably thinking back to his mother's botched wedding. "Everything happens for a reason, isn't that what they say?"

As his quizzical look she continued. "I mean no offense, but your mom really didn't look all that happy at her almost wedding to Frank. And look at Frank now... he's dancing with Blake and smiling. He's happy. Maybe things are the way they should be."

"When did you get all philosophic like on me?" Smiling slightly hoping to change the subject.

She knew what he was doing, but realized that this might not be the time to push him about his Mom and Frank. So instead she played along. "Maybe I've always been that way and you were too wrapped up into Daisy to notice." She answered with a slight smile of her own.

"You might be right." He answered looking into her eyes. "Since one good turn deserves another or something like that. Why don't we have dinner tomorrow as a thank you for saving me from Alan?"

"Are you asking me out on a date?" Ashlee asked before grinning and answering her own question. "Yes you are. So… yes."

"Cool, I should be home about 6:30. Do you just want to meet there?" At her nod her thanked her for the dance and slipped away before anyone noticed.


	3. Chapter 3 Hail Marys

Chapter 3

"So, you're having dinner with Ashlee Wolfe?" Frank asked with a smirk on his face. "When did this happen?"

"What? I can't have dinner with a friend? Jeez, Frank, just cause you don't have a social life…"

"Hey, I'll have you know that I have plenty of friends. Some of them are women, too."

"Sure, Frank if you say so." Rafe laughed as he sat on a kitchen chair and tied his shoes.

"Well, don't stay out too late. You have work in the morning. Plus, I wouldn't want you to get a reputation or something." Smiling, Frank left to go to the station. He'd been putting in late nights trying to deal with the Edmund Winslow case.

Right on the dot the doorbell rang. "Hey, Ash. Come on in."

"Thanks. I saw Frank. He told me not to hurt your _rep_. What did he mean?" She asked.

"That's just him trying to be funny. Don't worry about it."

"Oh, I get it. _Old people_ humor." She laughed. And not for the first time in two days he thought what a great smile she had.

Looking around, she thought that Frank's apartment was small but nice. There were slight womanly touches like the hand sewn throw pillows on the couch. She wondered who helped him with those. "This is pretty cute. Did your mom help him decorate? I know that they're still friends."

"What? No… in fact the last thing I want to talk about is my mother. Okay?" He huffed as he pulled on his jacket.

"Rafe, if we're going to be… well, _good_ friends, then you have to know that you can talk to me about stuff. I know in the past I've been a motor mouth_,_ to put it lightly, but you're not the only who's changed this last year." Looking him in the eye she continued, "Tell me what's wrong. Please?"

He needed to trust someone and, looking into her eyes, he saw her sincerity. Sighing he said, "It seems that my mom's in love with Olivia. So, ya know, she's a lesbian or whatever."

"So's my mom." At his shocked look, she went on. "I think lately she's been trying to tell me. Seeing your mom and Olivia together has made her think about what might have been… or even what could be. Who knows?"

"And you're alright wit it?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "It doesn't really bother me. It's who she is and has been for awhile. I mean no matter what we've been through she's still my mom. We don't agree on everything. Okay, on most things. But, she's always been there when I needed her the most. What worries me is that the talk will turn to who my dad is and I'm not sure I want to go there."

"Yeah, I get where you're coming from with the whole dad thing. But, yo… I mean doesn't it sort of freak you out about her being with a woman?"

"I want her to be happy, and it makes her happy. I mean, when she tries to live like most everyone else well, you know the whole story when she married Alan. It made me so crazy that I shot him. So, I'd rather have a sane life than an insane one."

"I guess it's just different for me. I mean, for the longest time it was just my mom and me. A coupla guys asked her out and stuff but mostly it was just us."

"Maybe she didn't think that any of those guys could measure up to your dad."

"That's just it; I don't think that Olivia measures up, either."

"Maybe you should talk to Olivia and see if she's serious about your mom."

Sighing Rafe said, "I tried that. I went by the Beacon and she wasn't there. That's when I ended up watching Emma when her babysitter booked to be with her boyfriend. Em and I talked, and that's when I started believing that everybody else knew about them 'cept me."

He got up and shoved his hands in pockets and glanced out of the apartment window. "And Ash, the things I said… especially to my ma… I'm not sure if she'll forgive me. She's always said that once you say something you can't take it back."

"Look" she began coming up behind him and slightly hesitating before placing her hand on his upper back. "If there's one thing I know about your mother, and mine, it's that they'll always be there for us. I mean let's face it; you and I both have done some things that would make other parents run. But ours didn't."

Rafe knew that she was right. His mother had always been there for him, often placing her life on hold to sort out his problems and now when she had finally found some happiness in her life he had probably helped ruin it for her. But, damn it, he couldn't just turn his back on everything that he had been taught, either. His faith had gotten him through tough times in prison. Maybe there was some middle ground or something. Right now he only knew that he needed to talk to his mother, and soon.

"I think I'm going to call Father Ray and found out when she's coming back. If it's not soon, I think I need to go find her."

The ringing of Ashlee's phone interrupted whatever she was about to say. "Sorry, but it's Daisy; let me see what she wants."

It gave him a chance to observe her. Funny, they had always sort of hung out together but never really got to know each other since, doing that time, he had been dating her best friend. He liked the way that she looked like a _real woman_ - none of that skin and bones like most girls. Even Daisy now seemed to be trying to look like a runway model. Add in her wicked sense of humor and Ashlee had it going on.

"We've got to go. Now!" Ashlee's shout broke him out of his thoughts. "Daisy needs our help." Heading for the door, she added, "Oh, and something about Olivia acting strangely."

"Crap! Just great. Where are they?"

"Uh... in a bar." Ashlee said sheepishly.

"Let me guess... Daisy used another fake ID, right?" True, he had tried getting a drink after he couldn't get into the Police Academy, but he was afraid that he was seeing a pattern with his former love. "Which one?"

"Some place on 10th Street. Or, did she say 20th? She was sort of slurring her words so I'm not sure. I think it's something like the Blue Marlin or--"

"Not the Blue Dolphin?" At Ash's nod, Rafe had a real sinking feeling that things were going to get worse. "Damn. My ma used to work there. The owner is a real a-hole. Come on, let's get down there and see if we can get them out of there."

*****

Rafe reflected on the scene before him. Daisy was partially on a bar stool, her head propped up in her hand on the bar, looking like at any minute she would slip to the floor. Olivia was ranting about having seen his mother enter the bar, and was demanding to know where she was, which was not making the bartender happy. "Damn. This is bad."

He took a step towards Daisy, figuring that Olivia could handle herself until he got his ex-love out of there. Only then did he see his Mom's old boss heading his way. "Hey, don't I know you?"

Before he could answer, he heard Olivia scream, "Where is she??" Glancing at the older woman he saw her look at him with a slight smile before she stepped in front of the man and handcuffed herself to the bar rail. "I know you know where she went ,you bastard!" She was practically spitting in the owner's face.

The distraction was all the time he and Ashlee needed to get Daisy up and moving towards the door. After telling his blonde friend to go ahead, he turned back, only to see Olivia glance towards the cuff and slightly shake her head. He got her point; if he stayed and the cops caught him there, it would be him handcuffed along with her.

A few weeks ago it would have been much easier to leave her stranded and not care what happened. His mother's feelings be damned. But now he was conflicted. For one thing, if Olivia was to be believed, they hadn't lied to him. They were going to tell him about their relationship. Also, Olivia was Emma's mother, and he didn't want to contribute to anything that would hurt the little girl. Glancing back one more time, as he neared the exit, Rafe saw that the auburn-haired woman was more than able to handle herself. He now saw the bar owner had a panicked look on his face, as Olivia gave him a piece of her mind, which included the words 'fuck' and 'god damn'. Shaking his head as he exited the bar, he muttered, "Ma would tell her that's at least 15 Hail Mary's."


	4. Chapter 4 Everyday People

Chapter 4 – Everyday People (aka _We Gotta Live Together) by Sly Stone_

"Sweetie, I promise I'll be there when your plane arrives." She could hear the tremble in her oldest daughter's voice. How Olivia wished that she could be there with her, holding her tight. One of the hardest things she had ever had to do was to call Ava and tell her that her father had died. "I love you and I'll see you soon."

Hanging up the phone, she rubbed her temples in a vain attempt the get rid of a headache caused by too much alcohol and a night spent in the drunk tank. _How did I let things get that far?_ She thought, and not for the first time. _Damn, Natalia, are you ever coming back? I don't know how much longer I can keep it together._ Her thoughts were interrupted by a light rap on the door. She opened the door only to be brought up short by the person standing on the other side.

"Oh… Rafe."

"Yeah, I know… what am I doin' here?" He asked as she motioned him inside.

She watched him nervously shove his hands in his front pockets and stare down at the floor. "Look, I'm not good at this… apologizing stuff. But... uh I'm sorry that I went off on you at the wedding. It wasn't the time, ya know?"

Her raised eyebrow made him quickly amend his statement. "I mean not that there's really a good time to… uh… treat somebody like that. I was still kinda upset about stuff and …"

"You took it out on me."

Nodding his head, he replied, "Yeah. I did. I mean I'm still trying to sort stuff out about you and… my Ma." The last part was hard for him to say but, after what she had done for him the other night at the bar, well he supposed it was the least that he could do. "That's one of the reasons why I'm here. You said when I was ready to talk…"

"And I meant that… but right now isn't a good time." Olivia said, as she once again picked up the cordless phone. "I've got to find someone to watch Emma while I go to the airport to pick up Ava."

"Snap… I forgot. She's coming in for Jeffery's memorial. He was a good guy. Stood up for me an everythin' even after what I did."

"He knew that was an accident, Rafe. You were hurting because of your dad."

"I'm glad I gotta chance to tell him thanks. And if I don't see Ava, will you tell her I said I'm sorry and, you know, if she wants to talk or something." He shrugged before looking back down.

"She'll appreciate that. Look, I'm sorry that I'm not able to talk right now but, as I've said, I've got to find someone to watch Emma before I can leave, so…

"I'll do it."

"Are you sure? You know she can be a handful." And that was putting it mildly. Although she loved her daughter, Olivia had to admit that sometimes she found the child tough to deal with, unlike Natalia, who seemed to always have the patience needed.

"Yeah, it's the least I could do after you helped Daisy, and me, out the other night. In fact—"

"Uh, no need to thank me."

"But..." he tried again.

She cut him off with a wave of her hand. "No, really, let's not talk about it." The last thing Olivia wanted to do was to remember how she had almost cracked when she had saw a dark haired woman, similar in height and build, enter the bar and how, for a second, she had thought it was Natalia. Although thinking back, she should have known that her love wouldn't have worn such a tight dress. Natalia Rivera wore her sexuality understated but, make no mistake, it was there. Shaking her head slightly, she thought about the poor woman she had scared. No wonder the woman ran out the back door. She would have, too, if a half drunk wild-eyed woman had coming screaming after her.

Sensing that she was uncomfortable, Rafe didn't press the issue. Luckily for both of them, Emma chose that moment to burst into the room.

"Rafe!" Hearing his name screamed, he quickly turned around, only to almost be knocked down by Emma running into him. "You're here. Is Natalia with you?"

"Hey, Em. Nah, she's not back yet," he replied, as he dropped down to his hunches so that he'd be eye level with her. "She's sort of on a _grownup_ time out."

Tilting her head to the right a bit, the little girl asked, "Was she bad?"

Laughing lightly he answered, "No. Grownups sometimes just need to go off by themselves and think about things. That's all. But she'll be back soon."

Before she could ask another question like how _soon _was _soon_, he asked his own. "So, munchkin, want to spend some time with your big bro while your mom goes and picks up your sister?"

Olivia had been watching the exchange, wondering how Emma would react to having Rafe stay with her, but any doubts were quickly squashed as her daughter started to jump up and down. "Cool! Can we watch the new Hannah Montana movie?"

"Uh… maybe later. How about first we watch that movie about the pre-historic squirrel?" Rafe asked with a pleading look.

"Okay. But next time I get to pick. No questions asked, right?" Olivia tried not to laugh. Yes, she was definitely her daughter, making deals already at the ripe old age of nine.

Bending to plant a kiss on her daughter's head, Olivia said, "You two work it out." Pausing at the door she looked back, "Thanks. I should be back in about 2 hours."

Once her Mom was gone, Emma was all business. "Come one, Rafe. Let's watch the movie. Can we order room service?" She asked hopefully.

"Hey Em, can I ask you something?" Rafe asked as he sat on the bed.

"Sure."

"Why did you do that presentation that you did for Family Day? The one that you showed me before."

"This one?" She asked as she reached over and pulled it out of the desk drawer. At his nod she sat next to him and opened it.

"Well, our teacher told us to write about our families and why they were special. So, uh, I was gonna write about mommy and daddy, but daddy wasn't here. Then, I tried talking to grandfather, who just kept on saying that family was important, but he really didn't make much sense about why." Emma said.

"Yeah, I know what ya mean; I've had to talk to the old man a time or two myself, and he can be confusing."

She smiled and nodded her head before continuing, "Anyway, the next morning I was eating my breakfast in the kitchen and Natalia was making my lunch. Mommy told Natalia that she had already sent you your medicine so Natalia didn't have to worry about it."

"Okay..."

"Well, silly, that's what a Mommy and Daddy do; take care of the kids and stuff. Only it was my Mommy and your Mommy. So..."

"I get it... two Mommies." And he had to admit; it made perfect sense.

"Yep. And that made my family special, 'cause most kids have a Mommy and a Daddy."

"Well... yeah, there are a lot of kids that have a two parents, but some have one or maybe not any. Families come in all shapes and sizes."

"Uh huh, I know. Derek has only a Mommy and she says that he can't play with me anymore."

He could tell by the look on her face that she was upset. He wasn't quite sure if he should ask any more questions but then again maybe it would help if she could talk about it with someone closer to her age.

"Yo, why did she say that?"

"Cause she thinks that our family is weird. Mommy says it's just cause she's prej-- prej-u---"

"Prejudice?"

"Yep, that's the word. I think it means that she doesn't like people that are sorta different from her."

Nodding his head, he agreed. "Yeah, Em you're gonna find that there are lots of people like that in the world. See, they can't understand things, like someone who's skin is a different color, or maybe talks differently. It makes them scared and they run away from that person." She was listening very intently, so he went on. "It doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with being different. I mean everybody is unique. Take me, for instance; I can't help it that I'm so good looking."

"In your dreams." She laughed.

"Hey, the girls like it." He tickled her ribs. "Seriously, Em, don't let people like Derek's mom stop you from being the person you're meant to be or be ashamed of your family, okay?"

"Okay. Can we watch the movie now?" He knew that she was getting bored, but he needed to ask her one more thing.

"Sure, but can I ask you one more question?"

Sighing, she agreed. "When you showed me this before, you said that people knew that they loved each other and stuff. Why did you say that?"

"Cause, they're BFFs, silly."

"BFFs? I guess I'm not up on the lingo, cause I don't know what that means."

"Boys." She said as she rolled her eyes. "You don't know anything. BFF means Best Friends Forever." And with that, she pushed aside the presentation book and walked over to the TV and turned it on, leaving her brother alone with his thoughts.


	5. Chapter 5 You've Got a Friend

Chapter 5 – You've Got a Friend

Dang, it seemed that everywhere he went these days, she was there. He knew that Olivia had a right to be here; after all, his father thought of her as a close friend. It was just that he really wasn't in the mood to have a big discussion with her right now. He was still trying to sort things out.

"Hey, sorry I haven't been around, but things have been… well a bit tense lately." Olivia began, as she kneeled in front of Gus's grave and placed flowers. "We just had a memorial service for Jeffrey. His plane crashed. He was out looking for Edmund, who everyone thought was dead, which is a story unto itself."

Sighing, she continued as she got up and brushed loose grass off her pants. "Then there's Natalia… don't worry, she's not sick or anything. I mean, I guess she isn't, since I haven't heard from her in almost 2 weeks. I thought everything was going so well. She had said that she wanted to stop waiting to be with me because every time we waited it just seemed to make things worse. "

He decided that he really shouldn't be eavesdropping but, as he turned to go back down the path, he thought he heard her mention his name.

"Rafe… oh, Gus… we ended up hurting him the most, and we didn't mean to. He was so happy that he had found a job after being turned down for the Police Force. Did you know that? That he wanted to be a cop just like you?" she said, as she wiped away the tears now forming in her eyes.

"Anyway, Natalia had planned this picnic celebration for him. We were going to give him a few days to really get settled into his new routine and then tell him. I hadn't even told Ava or Emma. We both felt that Rafe needed to be told first. What we didn't know was that he had seen us earlier. No, not doing that… I mean… we haven't slept together." Waving her hands around, she said. "I know, hard to believe, right? But, she wanted to wait. And, can you believe it? Me, Olivia Freaking Spencer, was okay with waiting. That's how much I love her."

_Crack! _Well, now that he had stepped on a fallen branch she knew that he was there, so it was no use hiding._  
_  
Stopping a few feet in front of her, he said, "Sorry, I didn't mean to bother you." He shoved his hands in his front pockets, a sign that she was coming to realize was a nervous gesture of his. Sort of like when his mother twirled a strand of her hair around her finger.

"It's okay. I was through." With that, she started to walk away.

He stepped slightly in front of her. "Wait, can I ask you something'?" At her nod he continued. "Why did you push her to Frank?"

She guessed that they were going to have their long awaited talk, after all. "Because I knew that he could give her what she always wanted; the white picket fence, children, and he would make a great dad for you. With me, she'd get none of that. Instead, it would be whispers and stares."

"Yeah… I guess I could kinda see that. I mean, we want the people that we care about to be happy, even if it's not with us." By the way he was staring at some unseen point, she guessed the last part wasn't directed at her.

"It's one of life's lessons." She supposed that they both had learned a lot of those in the past year or so.

"Uh… I didn't do a good job… uh… apologizing to you the other day. I shouldn't have said some, well probably most, of the things that I did. It's just that this thing with you two kinda through me for a loop, ya know?"

"Believe or not, I do know." She answered. "Rafe, I know that my reputation is of a wild and crazy… uh… sexual woman. But this… being in love with your mother was a first for me." She took his silence as a nod for her to continue.

"Oh, yeah, so much so that… well, let's just say that I almost lived up to that vision that most people have of me. Luckily, I just ended up tipsy playing Guitar Hero with a couple of friends."

"Yo, you? Play Guitar Hero? No way." He was beginning to realize that there was a lot about her that he didn't know.

"Uh, yes way. I play a mean set of drums. Anytime you want to take me on, just let me know." She smiled.

"All right… we'll have to have a drum off one day. Maybe me, you, and Emma can form a band or something." He laughed. This light repartee between them reminded her of the banter that she often shared with Natalia.

"Speaking of Emma," she said, as she glanced at her watch. "I gotta get back to the Beacon and help her pack. She's going back to San Francisco with Ava. I think it'll be good for the two of them to spend some time together."

Nodding his head, he agreed. "Yeah, I know that the munchkin loves her big sis. And, it'll give Ava something else to focus on."

_Wow_, she thought, he is becoming quite the insightful young man. "I thought so, too." She said as she smiled slightly. "Rafe… take care." And with a light touch on his arm, she walked away.

"Jeez... could things get any weirder? Not only does she have your heart but... I'm kinda beginning to see what my Ma sees in her. She's one feisty chick. But, with a soft side, too."

Sitting down next to his father's grave, he gave a big sigh before continuing. "I'm still not sure 'bout the whole thing. But thinking back... I haven't seen Ma this happy in a long time. Maybe that's part of it... I came back and she was happy... life went on without me. Stupid, huh? Yeah... I know; I'm a man now and I should start thinking like one. Olivia already told me that... great minds and all that. Speaking of her, I think Olivia needs a little sign or something that everything is going to be okay." _And_, he thought, _so do I_.

"So, if you have any pull up there, can you use it?" After asking the question, he stood. "Sorry this visit was so quick, but I gotta stop by the house and check on things. I promise next time I'll stay longer. I miss you, and thanks for listening." With that, he strode away.

The drive to the Farmhouse was long. He had decided not to go straight to Frank's. He knew that his mentor would probably be working late on Edmund's murder, the missing diamonds, or whatever else was happening in Springfield these days. For a small town, it sure had a lot of drama. He had thought that leaving Chi-Town and coming to the _burbs_ would mean fewer hassles but, as the last few years had shown, that was not the case. Plus, he needed to check on things while his mom was gone.

Walking into the kitchen, he really looked around and noticed, for the first time, how homey it felt. On the frig he saw a Spelling Test with a huge red "A" on it, showing that his little sister was doing well in school. Curtains that he sure his mother had made adorned the window over the sink. He could picture her at the stove, with Emma at the table doing her homework, and Olivia walking through the door after a full day at the Beacon. They would all be smiles; they would be happy. He vowed that if this was truly what his mother wanted, Rafe would make sure that she would have it again.


	6. Chapter 6 I Want You Back

Chapter 6 – I Want You Back

"Frank, I really need to talk to you."

"Natalia, I'm glad that you're back but a lot has happened since you were gone and I'm pretty swamped right now." He said absently as he shifted through papers on his desk.

"You need to make the time." He could hear the steel in her voice. "This can't wait. I've waited too long and I fear that I've ended up hurting people... again."

"Okay. Look I have some time late this afternoon say around 4:00 pm?"

"That's good." Sighing she said, "It'll give me time to talk to Olivia."

"Yeah... about that… I know I probably don't have any right to give you advice..." Taking a deep breath he went on, "But if I were you I'd take it slow with her. She's really had a hard time with you being away."

"Rafe briefly told me some of what's been going on with her so your advice is warranted. I'll see you later, Frank." With that she ended the call and began her drive into town to look for the woman she loved.

***

Funny how she always ended up back here where it all really began. Standing here in this very spot only a few months ago she had finally said it; she loved Natalia. Now, it was finally hitting her that the women she loved could probably care less.

It had been 20 days, 2 hours, and about 2 minutes since the person she loved had simply left without a word as to why. And in that time she had started to die a little each day. However, after her night spent among Springfield's "elite" in the drunk tank at the City Jail, Olivia had decided that was going to change. She had made up her mind; she was through waiting. In fact, she had a date that very night with one very hot ex-husband, Josh "Sexy as Hell" Lewis and, if she played her cards right, there might be others, too. At 42, she still had a rather nice body, if the looks she had gotten from Josh's construction crew were any indication. It was obvious that Natalia didn't really want her, so why not go for it.

_Ring!_ "Olivia Spencer."

"Ms. Spencer? It's me, Greg."

Sighing and pinching her nose, she asked, "Yes, Greg. Is there a problem?" He was no Natalia, that's for sure. She had really tried to give him a chance at Nat's old assistant job, but it wasn't working out. For one thing, he had a hard time making decisions so he was always having to call her.

"I'm… I'm not sure. You had a rather strange phone call from Rafe Rivera. "

"Natalia's son? Greg, what did he say?"

"Oh, right… uh, that she's back. That's all he said. Do you understand--"

She knew it was rude to she just cut him off by hanging up the phone; however, Olivia needed to get her bearings, and talking to him certainly wasn't going to help.

"Olivia!" Natalia knew that she would find her here. This gazebo was part of the gift Gus had given her when he had had the park renamed for Olivia when he found out how sick she was. It was the place where she had told Olivia that she loved her. And, it was also where she had told Olivia that she was tired of waiting for them to be together. That the woman she loved was here now hopefully meant that they had a chance. And she would take it, no matter how small.

"Jeez" Olivia began, as she turned around. "If I knew it would be that easy I would have just mentioned your name earlier." Her breath caught in her throat as she spied the woman who still held a part of her heart walking towards her. She had to catch herself from running into the dark haired woman's arms. _Steady, Olivia. Don't forget she left you…alone._ "So, you're back."

"Yes, and I missed you."

"Look, what do you want? Cause I sort of have a full day. Meeting with the Assistant DA, running the Beacon… " She counted on her fingers not daring to look up.

"Olivia, please look at me. Please…"

Olivia hated that Natalia could still get to her but, if she heard her out, maybe then that would be the end. She'd be able to walk away. "You've got 10 minutes. I promised Ava that I'd give you that. She was here for Jeffrey's memorial service. Which you could have attended, but then no one knew how to get a hold of you."

"Father Ray--"

Sneering, Olivia cut her off, "Father Ray? Yep, I'm sure he's the same person that told you to go in the first place, right? Well, see, I tried talking to him when you first left and, as usual, he was his same judgmental self and wouldn't tell me where you were. But then, you didn't want to be found, did you?"

"It's not that simple. I felt such pressure…"

"No! Don't you dare try and put this on me. I told you that I was willing to wait. You're the one who decided that you didn't want to wait any longer." Olivia was now only inches from her. If Natalia leaned up slightly, she could catch those pouty lips that she longed to feel again. But she couldn't do that, at least not yet. She had to try and make her understand why she left before they could continue forward.

"Because I would have had to tell you everything. You know how hard it is for me to hold things back from you… and… I… I just couldn't deal with… _this_… right then." With that, Natalia lowered the purse she had been clutching to her belly and placed Olivia's hand in its place.

"Does he know?" Green eyes gazed into brown ones.

"No, I needed to see you first, because I've hurt you the most. I realized that soon after I left, that you'd be the most affected. That's why I sent you the letter."

"You... sent me a letter? Really? Cause I didn't get it. All I got was some short message from Blake about you not coming to the Bar-B-Que and how you didn't want to talk or see me."

"That's not what I said!" Natalia cried. "I told her to tell you that I _couldn't_ talk to you right then. Not that I _didn't_ want to talk to you."

"Well, maybe if you had left me a note, or maybe even a voicemail, then I would have definitely known that." Olivia said, pulling her hand away and stepping back.

"There wasn't time. The bus for the retreat was leaving in 15 minutes. I barely made it. And once you're there, they won't let you use your cell phone, not that the coverage is good way out there anyway." Moving closer Natalia once again took her hand. "I'm so, so sorry, and I plan on doing everything I can to make it up to you. I know you just can't forgive me, that I have to win back your trust, and I plan on doing just that."

"How?" she asked softly. "You're going to be pretty busy the next few months."

"Don't forget; I have experience doing this. So I know that I can do it now, especially since hopefully I'll have some help. Olivia I want--"

"Yep, I'm sure Frankie will love being there with you and Rafe." Sighing, Olivia continued, "You should have listened to me months ago, and married him. He's able to give you everything that you've ever wanted."

Cupping her hand to Olivia's cheek, she replied, "Not everything; not passion." Before the other woman could respond, Natalia captured her lips with her own. God, they were so soft. Softer than she remembered. The body pressed up against her felt firm yet soft at the same time, if that was possible. Slowly she used her tongue to caress Olivia's bottom lip before taking it into her mouth and gently sucking on it. The older woman moaned and, as her mouth slightly opened, Natalia eased her tongue inside.

_Oh… my… god._ She had been married five times, and had had more lovers than she could count on two hands, but Olivia swore that no one had kissed her so deeply and meaningfully as the petite woman now in her arms. She could have gone on forever kissing but, like their last kiss, Natalia pulled away first. However, unlike then, it was she who asked the question, "Why did you do that?"

"Kiss you?" Taking her fingertip and tracing the full lips, she answered her own question, "Because I'm not scared anymore." Looking at her watch, she blew out a frustrating breath. "And I really want to talk to you some more about everything, but I have to go. Although I talked to him on the phone, I haven't even seen Rafe. Know this, Olivia, I love you."

And just like that, she was gone. Leaving a very bewildered Olivia looking after her.

"Was that Natalia I just saw leaving?" Doris asked walking up the steps of the gazebo. "Olivia? Are you all right?"

"Yes... and no." Her friend said softly, as she sank down onto the bench.

Sitting down next to the confused looking woman, Doris gently prodded. "Yes, it was Natalia?" At Liv's nod, she continued, "But you're not okay?"

Shaking her head Olivia answered, "She kissed me."

"Okay... and the problem with that is...?" Turning swiftly towards her, Olivia hissed, "She fucking just waltzed back into town after three weeks, kisses me, and says that she now knows what she wants!" Now that was more like the "take no shit" woman that she knew: eyes blazing, nostrils flaring.

"Well, I take it she wants you... so, I still don't see the problem." And she didn't. Doris would die to have someone like Natalia tell her that she wanted her.

"Doris, she left me! I didn't know where she was or is she was okay!" The older woman was up and pacing. Throwing up her hands, she said, "Oh, and you want a good laugh? To top it off, she's pregnant."

"Did I hear you right?"

"Yep. Care to guess who baby daddy is?" Olivia sneered.

"I see." Was all that Doris answered.

"You see what?"

Taking a deep breath, Doris reached up and pulled Olivia down next to her. "I know you pretty well, Olivia, and the way I see it, you're once again comparing yourself to Frank Cooper and, in your mind, you're coming up short."

Sighing, Olivia put her head in her hands and sobbed out, "He's given her something that I never could... a child."

Gently patting her friend's back, she reminded her, "But she came back for you... not for him. Don't forget that."

"He'll always be a part of our lives now... I'm not sure I can live with that."

"So, let me see if I've gotten this right? You can't live without her, but you also can't live with her if she has Frank's baby? Is that what you're saying?"

"I just don't know... there was already so much to deal with before she left but, at least then I thought we had a plan: no more waiting, and we were going to tell everyone be damned."

Smiling slightly, Doris said, "Honey, if she kissed you out in here in public, then I think she's saying that she wants to go with the game plan."

"Yeah, but the game has changed a bit." Sitting up straight, Olivia continued, "I'm moving on."

"Uh, yeah, and I'm straight."

"No, I'm serious. Doris, I waited for her to call me, text me, something, but I never heard from her. Although she claims that she sent me a letter."

"And I'm sure she did. The Natalia that I've come to know would never have just left and not contacted you or her son."

_That's true_, Olivia thought, although she didn't voice her feelings. One of the first things to draw them so close together was the love of their children. But there was no denying that once again someone she had loved had deserted her, and this time it had almost broke her. She wasn't sure that she could open up her heart again.

"The bottom line is I'm still not sure that I can trust her. And, until I do, I need to stay away from her."


	7. Chapter 7 Having My Baby

Chapter 7 - Having My Baby ;-)

"Always on time." Natalia muttered as she saw Frank's car pull up in her driveway. She was really hoping that for once he'd be late, so she'd have a few moments to pull herself together. The kiss with Olivia had rattled her. and her body had yet to settle down. She had almost called Frank to cancel, but thought better of it. Placing a slight smile on her face, she opened the front door. "Hey, Frank."

The shock was evident on his face. "Well, I guess I know one of the reasons you went away." She nodded and led him into the living room, sitting on one end of the couch while he sat on the other.

Looking in his eyes, she saw confusion rather than anger. "I want you to know that I was always going to tell you. I... just needed some time to think about and to deal with a lot of things." Holding up her hand to forestall him asking the other question she figured was most on his mind, she answered it for him. "Yes, I want Olivia to be a part of this child's life. I know that will be hard, but some way we'll all have to make it--."

"Okay." He said softly.

"That's it?" Could it really be that simple? She thought that he'd protest Olivia's involvement in their lives. The look on her face must have conveyed her disbelief, as Frank gave her a little laugh.

"I've had a lot of time to think while you were gone." Frank stood up and began pacing. "And although I think that eventually we could have had a good life together, I know now that deep down we didn't love each other enough, to have a great life. Not how you love Olivia and, if I'm really honest with myself, how part of me still loves Eleni."

She had no idea that he was still pining for his former wife. They had really never talked about why his marriage had ended. In contrast, she knew why every one of Olivia's had failed. The lack of communication between Frank and herself was one more thing that cemented, at least for her, the idea that their marriage never would have worked. Well, at least now, maybe as friends, they could talk about it. "Did you ever tell her that? That you still loved her?"

"No." Shaking his head, he went on. "You don't understand. See, I still love the _old_ Eleni. The wife who cooks dinner, makes your lunch, sits by your side at the Policeman's Ball, and who at the very least works from home. Not the big time LA business woman that travels, whom you hear from once in a blue moon."

Smiling a sad smile Natalia nodded. "I reminded you of the Eleni that you fell in love with..."

Coming to sit beside her, he took her hand. "Yes, but trust me when I say that your cookies were much better." With that, he leaned over and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before rising.

"Thank you, Natalia, for the gift that you're giving me. Whatever you and the baby need... I'm here for you. And, as for Olivia... well, she and I have made our peace. I'm sure she'll tell you about it."

"I'm sure she will." She got up to walk him to the door. "If she ever speaks to me again."

Turning back, Frank said, "Give her time. Seeing you again probably just gave her a bit of a shock."

"You're probably right. Oh, and Frank, I've scheduled a sonogram for Friday at 3:00 pm, if you want to be there." She saw him hesitate, most likely waiting to see if she was going to mention whether or not he could expect Olivia to join them. She gave him credit; he was trying.

"Of course, I'll be there." And with that, she was left with her own thoughts.

****

"Yo, Ma? ¿Está aquí?" Rafe hollered, as he started up the stairs in search of his mother.

"Rafe! Hijo, I'm so glad to see you." Natalia said as her son rushed into her arms. "Easy, Sweetie, you're going to crush me."

"Sorry, Ma, but it's just that I've missed you and-- Whoa!!! Are you pregnant?"

It was hard not to laugh at the look on her son's face but, if they were to have a serious discussion, she had to keep a straight face. "Yes, I am."

"Aww... man, if she didn't flip before, Olivia's gonna do it now."

"Okay, just what does that mean? When I called you to tell you that I was on my way back, you said something about how you thought that Olivia was close to 'losing it,' if she hadn't already."

Guiding his mother down the stairs, Rafe began, "Well… she's been drinkin' a lot, for one thing. Then, she got arrested. Although I think part of that was my fault."

"Rafael Rivera, just what—what did you do??" He hadn't seen her this mad in a long time.

"Ma, calm down. I didn't do anything… I mean not really. It's just that I was sort of some place that I shouldn't been, and Olivia saw me and she… uh, she helped me out."

"Explain. Now." Natalia said sternly, as she sat on the couch.

Sighing he began. "Ashlee got a call from Daisy. She was drunk and… in The Blue Dolphin."

"Of all the places to be…" Natalia murmured.

"I know. Anyway, Olivia was there and, Ma, she handcuffed herself to the bar rail and started to shout 'Where is she?' and 'I know you know where she is'. Stuff like that."

"She? She who?"

Sitting next to his mother, he leaned closer and said, "You. I think she was referring to you." At his mother's confused expression, he went on. "See, at first I thought she was just kidding, but at one point I looked at her, right into her eyes, and I think at that point she was dead serious. Like maybe, for a brief moment, she lost it. Ya know what I mean?"

Nodding mutely, his mother got up and walked to the picture window, which looked out over the bench where she and Olivia sat almost every day. "Yes, I know how it is to lose yourself. It's one of the reasons I left. I had forgotten who I was... lost some of who I was... that's why finding out I was pregnant hit me so hard. Instead of a 36 year old woman, I was suddenly a frighten teenager again."

"I just wish you would have told me that, instead of just leaving."

"Everything just hit at once... the baby... facing you after the way I behaved when Daisy was pregnant… having to tell Olivia that, once again, we'd have to wait for there to be an _us_. It was just too much."

"So... you don't want to be with her?" Rafe asked, with a confused look on his face.

"Oh, no, Rafe, I love Olivia, and I plan on being with her. It's just that, at the time, so many emotions were bombarding me that I couldn't see a way that everything would work out. "

"But you can now?" If she didn't know better, she would have thought that he sounded hopeful.

"Yes. I know what I want. I want my family back. A big part of that is proving to Olivia that she can trust me again." Looking directly into her son's eyes, she continued. "And, I want you to be a part of that family. I know that may be a bit weird, but I would like for you to try."

"Ma, I want you to be happy, and I realize that Frank isn't the one that can do that. It was... hard... at first when I came back and saw you so happy with Olivia, but I think I get it now."

"You do?" Now it was her turn to be perplexed.

"Yeah, Gus will always be a part of you. I mean, he was your first love. But, at the same time, you can love someone else and be happy. Plus, Olivia and I have talked a bit, and she's not as…bad… as I thought."

Smiling Natalia cupped his chin, "You're definitely not a boy anymore. You've grown up."

"Well, hopefully, you'll still make this grownup his favorite peanut butter and banana sandwiches?" He asked hopefully.

"Si, mi amour." Getting up from the couch, she started towards the kitchen before turning back towards her son. "Rafe?"

"Yeah, Ma?" He stood up from the couch and walked towards her.

"I love you and I want you to know that I'm so sorry, Rafe, for leaving like I did. However, I hope you know that if Frank, and, Olivia, wouldn't have been here looking out for you, I never would have left. Although," She hastened to add, "I promise, I won't do anything like that again. Okay?"

At the nod of his head, she said one more thing. "And, I hope that you'll consider moving back here at some point."

"Let's take it one step at a time, okay?" He asked, before placing his arm around his mother's shoulders and walking with her into the kitchen.

_Translations_ - Esta aqui? = Are you here?; Si = Yes; mi amour = my love; hijo = son


	8. Chapter 8 I Will Be Your Hero

Chapter 8 - I Will Be Your Hero

Olivia knew that she needed to get lunch, but today was one of those days where she'd be lucky if she left the Beacon by dinner time. At least she didn't have to worry about Emma, since her daughter was still in San Francisco.

Although Olivia missed the high-spirited little girl, she was relieved that, with the Natalia now back, Emma wasn't in Springfield. Her daughter had taken her other Mommy's leaving hard. Plus, she'd now have to try and explain about the baby, and how they would never be a family again.

A light tapping at her office door pulled her from her thoughts. "Yes?"

"I don't think I got my full 10 minutes the other day." Natalia announced as she strolled into Olivia's office closing the door behind her.

"You've got nerve; I'll say that for you."

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think you used to like me a bit more gutsy." By the look on Olivia's face, she knew that she was remembering the same thing; when Natalia pulled the other woman out of her depression by refusing to take no for an answer. At one point Olivia had declared her a freaking super hero.

"A lot has happened since then."

"True. Look, I know you're pressed for time and so am I, since I only have 30 minutes today for lunch. Speaking of which, I have extra sandwiches if you want one." Reaching into the canvas bag hanging from her shoulder, she pulled out a cellophane wrapped sandwich and handed it to Olivia before sitting down.

Starving, Olivia unwrapped the lunch. "I should have known it would be a peanut butter and banana sandwich." Liv shook her head slightly before biting into it.

"Yeah, I made some for Rafe yesterday and I don't know... since then I've sort of been 'craving' them." She shrugged one shoulder before starting to eat her sandwich.

"So... how is the little one?" Olivia asked, using her chin to indicate the slightly swollen belly of the dark-haired beauty across from her. "Everything okay?"

Nodding Natalia answered, "I think so. I've got my first sonogram Friday afternoon." She hoped that Olivia would ask when, but all she did was keep eating her sandwich, which gave Natalia a chance to really look at the slightly older woman.

It was obvious that she hadn't been sleeping well. Dark circles lay under emerald green eyes. And...she just looked... beat. She also noticed something else. "Uh... wait a minute."

"What?"

Instead of answering, Natalia stood and leaned over and very slowly started to wipe a bit of banana/peanut butter combo from Olivia's bottom lip. It wasn't lost on either woman that just a couple of months ago Olivia had done something similar, the last time she and Natalia had made sandwiches together. With a wicked gleam in her eye, Natalia stopped using her thumb and instead used her tongue to flick off the tiny bit remaining on the corner of the auburn-haired woman's mouth.

Reacting from the sudden contact, Olivia jumped up, saying, "I really have a lot of work to do, so if you could just get to the point."

"Fine. I love you, I want you, and I plan on winning you back." Holding up one finger, she forestalled any comments. "And... even if the latter doesn't happen...I am not now, nor ever, marrying Frank. Yes, he'll be a part of this child's life. I don't think it's right to deny him that."

"But..." Natalia continued as she walked around the desk and took Olivia's hand and it held it to her chest. "It's you I want to wake up with every morning. You I want to raise this baby with. You I want to sit next to, and hold hands with, when he gives his 'Family Day' presentation in a few years. Not Frank... not anyone else."

"I really want to believe that." Olivia said softly.

"Then I'll just continue to prove it to you. I'd like to invite you to dinner so we can talk some more."

"Ahem... I'm not sure about my schedule... uh... this week." Olivia pulled her hand out of the other woman's and, turning her back, started to look up something on her laptop.

Sensing that she had pushed Olivia as far as she could today, Natalia picked up her purse and started for the door. "That's okay, Liv. I'll check back with you." With her hand on the door knob, she turned back, dimples showing, and said, "Because I can wait for as long as it takes."

After hearing the door close, Olivia cried, "Fuck!" before turning around and scattering the papers across her desk. It was then that she saw it. A pink envelope sat on her desk, her name written on it in Natalia's handwriting.

Sitting back in her chair, she slowly opened it and pulled out a slightly scented greeting card, upon the front of which was a watercolor of a slightly imperfect red rose. Inside was printed:** Like this flower, I am not perfect. But as in its imperfection it conveys love, I convey my love to you.** Natalia had added at the bottom: _Olivia, Sorry doesn't begin to excuse what I did. However, it's a beginning. Hopefully, one that we can build on. Know that I love you with all that I am and that I will always be here for you...for us. Love, Natalia_

Trying to hold back the tears that continued to flow at the romantic gesture, Olivia wondered out loud, "What the hell do I do now?


	9. Chapter 9 That's What Friends Are For

Chapter 9 – That's What Friends Are For

Great! An afternoon of being poked and prodded and now she had to run into him. _Oh, well_, she thought, _I can't avoid it forever_. "Frank! Well, I hear that congratulations are in order."

"Olivia, hi. Uh… thanks, but we've decided to keep it quiet for now. Just immediate family and friends." At the narrowing of her eyes, he plowed on. "It was Natalia's decision. She's wants to make sure that everything is okay—"

"Is she all right?"

"As far as I know. I haven't talked to her today." Holding up his hands palm outwards as if warding off Olivia's wrath, he continued. "It's the way she wants it. We decided that I would just meet her here at the hospital for the sonogram."

"And you, Frank Cooper, are okay with that?" She asked. "Because I don't believe you. Don't forget, I know you."

"Do I want to be more involved? Like most fathers, yes, I do. But this is a different and a potentially difficult situation. I'm just glad that she told me about the baby and is giving me an opportunity to be part of the child's life. We all have a lot to work out but, as I told you before, I want to go forward without any bitterness."

"Yes, well, you don't have to worry about me anymore" Standing up straighter and looking Frank in the eye, she continued, "What happens next is for you and Natalia to worry about. I think you had the right idea; I'm moving on."

"And now, I don't believe you." Stepping a bit closer, he explained. "I've seen the way you two are with each other. The way, right now. you're worried about her."

"I'll always care about her... but that's all. It's over." Olivia said, trying to convince Frank, as well as herself, that it was true.

"Are you sure? Because it sure didn't look that way when I saw you two the other day at the gazebo." He hadn't mentioned it to Natalia, but he had seen them gazing at each other as he had driven by on his way to check out a lead on a burglary.

Before could she form a reply, or even notice Frank looking behind her, Olivia could sense that Natalia was near, as the hairs on her arms stood up like faint jolts of electricity were passing through her. And, in a way, she supposed they had, since her body always seemed to hum whenever the dark-haired woman came near her. She definitely needed to put some distance between them, and soon.

"Hi, Frank." Came the soft voice. "Olivia, what are you doing here? Is everything okay?" Natalia's concern evident in her tone.

Part of Olivia wanted to scream, _Hell, no! I still love you, but I can't trust you, and it's driving me crazy!_ Instead, she faced Natalia and said, as calmly as she could, "Yes, I'm fine. I just finished a follow-up with Rick." Turning to go, she continued. "You two have a nice... day."

She hadn't gotten more than two steps when she heard, "Frank, I'll catch-up with you, okay? Olivia, wait. Please!"

Sighing, she whirled around. "What is it, Natalia?" Olivia didn't mean to sound so harsh, but seeing the woman she loved and who had hurt her was getting harder to bear.

"Is this the way it's going to be, you always running from me?" As soon as she uttered the words, she knew that they were a poor choice. "I mean--"

"Me? Running away?" Olivia's voice had taken on that dangerous low level that all at once scared and excited her. "No, but then again since that's what you usually do, I guess you'd be more familiar with those actions. So, I'll bow to your expertise."

Taking a deep breath, Natalia replied, "I'm not running now... and I don't plan on running again. Ever. I've told you that!"

"You really want to do this, here? Now?" Olivia demanded, looking around the slightly crowded hospital corridor.

"No, but I'm not sure I have a choice, if you won't talk to me. I've left several messages about our dinner date."

"Guess I've been busy. You know, work and all." Truth was, she had done little else but think of the last two conversations that she had had with her former love. The last one had melted her heart a little, but not enough to once again let in the woman standing before her. "I don't think it's a good idea if we have dinner."

"Fine. Lunch then. As long as we talk."

Taking Natalia by the arm and pulling her towards an empty exam room, Olivia began, "I really don't think we have much to talk about."

"What???" Jerking out of the other woman's reach, Natalia stared up at her. "How can you say that we don't have a lot to talk about?"

"Because I don't think that whatever you tell me is going to change things. The bottom line is that you left me. You left Emma."

"I came back! For you and Emma!!"

"And... maybe one day, on a friendship level, that will mean something but right now..." Olivia began.

"Friends? After all we've been through, that's what you want to be? Friends?" She could see it in the way that the green eyes looked, not at her, but through her, and by the slight trembling in her right hand, that Olivia was steeling herself to lie.

"Yes."

"I see." And she did see. For right now, this was how Olivia could deal with the baby, Frank, everything – by, in her own way, running away and hiding behind a mask of friendship. Well, she had known that it wouldn't be easy to win back her love's faith in her. It was just going to be a little bit harder than she had originally thought.

"Okay. We started out as friends before, so I'm willing to try that again." Invading the other woman's space, Natalia came closer still, causing Olivia to take a step back. "But know this: I will somehow prove to you that you can trust me again."

"Sorry, I really don't think that's going to happen. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have things to do, like pack." At the dark haired woman's inquisitive look, she continued, "I'm going to spend some time with my daughters. With... with everything that's recently happened... I need to be with them."

"Uh... ladies, I hate to interrupt" Lillian Raines began walking into the room, "but Natalia, I overhead the receptionist calling your name. I believe that they're ready for you." The older blonde wasn't quite sure what she had butted in on, but she knew by the set jaws of both women that it hadn't been something trivial. After what Buzz had told her concerning Frank, Natalia, and Olivia, she doubted that any conversation between any two of the three of them would be easy in the coming months.

Turning towards Cedar's Head Nurse, Natalia replied, "Thanks, Lillian." After watching the nurse step back into the hallway, Natalia took a deep breath and faced Olivia. "You do what you have to do. I'll still be here." She wanted to reach out and touch the older woman, but that would be pushing things. So, instead, she just gave Olivia a dimpled smile before walking away saying, "Have a safe trip, and give my love to the girls."

"Aren't you going with her?"

"Huh?" Olivia had been somewhat lost in thought about what had just transpired and hadn't heard the nurse return. "What did you say, Lillian?"

"I just mean that you and Natalia are... close. I would think that you'd want to be there to support her."

By her tone of voice and the look on her face, Olivia realized that Lillian knew about them. "We're not together anymore. Plus, I'm sure that Frank will provide all the support that she needs."

"But, she doesn't want him; she wants you."

"Yeah, well, we don't always get what we want." Olivia said as she straightened her skirt and prepared to leave. "At least I don't."

"And just what is it that you want?" Lillian inquired, gazing kindly at the taller woman.

What she wanted, was to go back a few months ago to when Natalia had told her that she was tired of waiting. If she could do it again, Olivia would have set Emma down that day and told her about her feelings for her other Mommy, before taking Natalia home and claiming her...slowly and gently...making sure that the younger woman knew that she was loved in every aspect of the word… physically and emotionally. Then, just maybe, Natalia would have felt strong enough their relationship to trust her and not run when she had found out that she was pregnant.

Instead of saying any of that, Olivia simply answered. "It doesn't matter. Bye, Lillian." As she strode out the door, she flipped open her phone and punched a speed dial number. "Greg. I've changed my mind about my trip. Cancel all my appointments for the next week or so and, no matter what it takes, get me on the first plane to San Francisco in the morning."


	10. Chapter 10 Leaving on a Jet Plane

Chapter 10 – Leaving on a Jet Plane

Sighing, once again she found herself alone sitting at a bar. But, unlike last time, she wasn't about to handcuff herself to anything. Having already packed for her trip in the morning, she was bored and didn't want to sit alone in her suite. Plus, Olivia had always been somewhat of a people person, in that she liked to be around them, watching the interaction between others. It kept her mind off of things. Like her inability to handle one on one relationships.

"Olivia_." Great, just what I need: a visit from Alan' Judgmental' Spaulding._ "Alan."

"I was hoping to run into you." _Here it comes_, she thought. "I... I want to apologize for something I said a while back."

Turning on the bar stool to face him, she tried to keep her face neutral and not show how shocked she was at hearing her ex say that he might be wrong about something. "Oh?"

Sitting down next to her, he continued. "Yes, I think I might have implied that you weren't a good mother. I said something about you letting Emma be around people that might not have her best interest in mind."

"I remember." It had been the day of her and Natalia's first date. That seemed so long ago.

"Recently I've realized that relationships are hard, whether they be between mother and daughter, father and son, or… whomever. That often we do the best that we can. I've also discovered that true, deep, friendships can be very valuable things. Did you know that Philip and Rick have been friends for over 30 years?" He asked looking at her intently.

"Yes, I did know that. I can only hope that my children will have such friendships in their lifetimes."

"I agree. And from what I've seen, I think that you're on the right track with showing them that very thing." At her quizzically look, he continued. "You and Natalia.... I think your… ahem, relationship… is a very strong and good one. I would be so lucky to have such a… person… in my life."

_Did he just give Natalia and me the okay?_ She thought but said, "Well, like any… relationship, ours is a work in progress."

"Good." Alan smiled. "I'm glad to hear that. I also heard what you did for Rafe. I want you to know that I'm grateful that you were looking out for him while his mother was away."

"She would have done the same, if the roles were reversed." Of that she was sure. It was other things about the dark haired woman that she was unsure about.

"Life, Olivia, I've come to realize, is often too short, especially when it comes to telling people how you feel. So, I just wanted you to know that I think you're a great mother and a good person. And with that I will bid you adieu." He motioned to the bartender that whatever she was having was on him, before placing a $20 bill on the counter. "Beth has graciously agreed to a family dinner with her and Peyton, so I must be going. Take care." And with a pat on her shoulder, he strode out the doors of Towers.

As she sat staring after him, Olivia saw Natalia walk through the doors with a very perplexed look on her face: however, before she could decide whether to flee or not, another ex was before her. "Did something happen to Alan while I was gone?"

"I'm really not sure. Why, what did he say?" Olivia asked quirking her eyebrow.

"Uh… I think" She began, "that in a roundabout way he gave us his… blessing. And that was after he greeted me with: Here's one of my favorite daughters-in-law."

"Hmmm… Alan was acting rather strangely. He, James, and Philip went camping. Maybe he was taken over by Pod People or something." There was no way that she was going to admit to the person who broke her heart that she, too, had interpreted Alan's comments as him somewhat accepting them as a couple.

Natalia laughed at the reference to one of the many old Sci Fi movies that they had watched on Movie Night at the Farmhouse. Not wanting to dwell on a much happier time, she moved on to something current."So, an early dinner meeting?"

Waving her finger back and forth, Olivia answered, "No, no, no… you're not my assistant anymore, so you don't get to ask me questions like that."

"So, I can't ask them as your friend?" She had that puppy dog look on her face. Olivia wasn't sure whether or not Natalia knew what that look could do to a person. It caused one to want nothing more than to take her in their arms and protect her. Well, she wouldn't fall into that trap again.

"Of course you can, silly." She answered, lightly swatting her on her arm. "I was just kidding."

She was pretty sure that her ex-housemate wasn't kidding, but Natalia decided to let it go. She was just happy that Olivia was talking to her at all. "I'm supposed to meet Blake here for a working dinner."

"Quite the taskmaster, eh?" Olivia asked, before taking another sip of her drink.

"I've had worse." Natalia said, before smiling.

Good god. She had to show those dimples. "Yes, I suppose you have." With that, Olivia gathered her purse and started to leave. "Well, I hope that you have a great dinner. I've got to go. It's almost time to call Emma." Maybe she'd do a bit of yoga tonight to calm herself. Anything was preferable than being here in Natalia's presence.

"Olivia, wait." Touching her arm, she felt the auburn-haired woman slightly stiffen. Hurriedly, she pulled back before asking, "Do you think it would be possible, at some point, for me to speak to Emma? To let her know that I'm thinking about her?"

"What? How could you ask—" Olivia began, before a discreet cough from the bartender reminded her that she was in a very public place. She made a mental note to make sure that he was well compensated for his effort in stopping her from making a scene.

Pushing a wayward piece of hair behind her ear as she nervously glanced around, Natalia stepped a bit closer before lowering her voice and replying, "Olivia, I would never knowingly hurt Emma. And, if you truly meant that we're at the very least friends, then you'd know that."

Realizing that this wasn't the time or the place Olivia, held her tongue from retorting that the woman before her, by leaving without a word, had done just that: hurt Emma. Plus, if Alan Spaulding could be civil and forgiving, maybe she could be, too, if just a little. "How about I call you one night when I'm there, and you can talk to her. That is…if she _wants_ to talk to you."

Seeing the look of pain that crossed Natalia's face as her last few words sunk in, Olivia started to reach out to soothe her. But, just as quickly, she remembered the look on her daughter's face when Olivia had had to tell her that Natalia may not ever come back to them. Swiftly, she let her arm fall back to her side.

Nodding slightly, Natalia mumbled, "We'll leave it up to her then," before turning and walking away.

Olivia had thought that hurting Natalia would somehow help loosen the pain that she constantly carried around inside, but it didn't. Instead, she just hurt worse. "Hey, Olivia." Came a deep voice behind her.

Whirling around, Olivia came face to face with her favorite ex-husband, Josh Lewis. "Let's go." Olivia took Josh's hand and pulled him towards the front doors. "Your place or mine?" she asked, once they got outside, wanting to just go someplace and lose herself in mindless sex. Hoping that, at least for a while, she could block out the dark-eyed beauty that haunted her very soul.

Having been once married to the auburn-haired woman, Josh knew her well enough to know that she was running from something and, not really, to him. Glancing back through the glass windows, he noticed, and there really wasn't any other way to put it, a rather lovesick Natalia looking straight past him and at Olivia. It suddenly clicked. Olivia's comments about missing someone you love when they were gone. How upset she was at Frank and Natalia's engagement party, not to mention the wedding. Olivia was in love with a woman who obviously loved her back, but who had also left her.

"Didn't you hear what I just said?" Tugging at his arm, she turned him around. "Josh, your place or mine?"

"Darlin' I'm thinking neither." Gently touching her arm, he continued, "Instead I think you need to spend some time thinking about what you're going to do about you… and Natalia." Before she could protest he gave her hand a gentle squeeze, turned and walked back into the restaurant leaving a very stunned Olivia staring at his retreating back.

"Damnit! Does the whole fucking world know?" Spending time away from Springfield was looking better and better. _Yes._ She thought, _I definitely made the right decision to leave._ With that she started for her car leaving a downcast Natalia once again staring after her.


	11. Chapter 11 Hold the Line

Chapter 11 – Hold the Line

Olivia reached for the phone, wondering who could be calling her at this ungodly hour. She was beginning to wonder, and not for the first time, whether or not the invention of the cell phone was really a good thing.

Rolling over, she managed to snag the device. Looking at the display, she was annoyed to see that it was Natalia. She almost didn't answer, but she knew that the tenacious woman would just call back on Ava's line, if she really wanted to talk to her. "Yeah."

"Don't hang up. It's about the Beacon."

Hearing Natalia's voice, combined with her uttering the name of Olivia's hotel, forced the sleepy woman into alertness. "What's wrong?"

"There was a small fire. It's under control. I just thought that you should know." Natalia rushed to get out as much information as could before her former boss hung up on her.

Pinching the bridge of her nose, she asked the obvious questions. "How did it start? What was damaged? And, may I ask, why in the hell are you calling me about this?"

"Electrical. One storage room. Greg and most of the rest of the staff are scared of you, so I made the call."

Throwing back the covers, Olivia stood up, phone in hand and, trying to keep calm said, "Let me get this straight. My hotel catches on fire and, instead of one of my 'highly' and, I'm using that term very loosely, trained, staff calling, they had you to relay the message?"

"Actually I was-- No, don't stack that over there! Put them in the pool storage room for now." No one could ever say that Natalia wasn't one of the best assistants around, that's for sure.

"Sorry. Where was I? Oh, yeah. Actually, I was driving by and I saw the fire trucks. Greg was pretty much on the sidewalk, trying not to faint. So, I stopped to see what was going on."

"Where's Gloria? Isn't she the manager on duty today?" Olivia was now cradling the phone between her left shoulder and chin, while flipping through her PDA.

"Yes, but she was in a minor car accident and will be out for at least a day or two."

Blowing out an exasperated breath, Olivia said, "That's it. Vacation's over. I'm on the next plane."

"No! Don't do that!"

Natalia could just imagine Olivia narrowing her eyes and slightly cocking her head before saying, "Excuse me?"

"Hold on a moment." Natalia walked through the glass doors leading out to the gardens for a little more privacy.

Taking a deep breath Natalia continued, "Look, Olivia, I'm not trying to tell you what to do, but you just got there last night and, if you think about it, by the time you got on a plane and got here, most of the day would be gone. Plus, I know how much this time with the girls means to you. So, why not let me help out around here for a while?"

"You want to work for me again?" Olivia asked.

"Only temporarily. I can be a part-time consultant or something, and still work for Blake, too. Right now, she's only concentrating on one book, and Ashlee is actually helping a lot with that. Olivia, I know how much this place means to you. It's your livelihood and the girl's legacy. Let me help."

"Well, we were planning on taking a boat trip today. And I'd hate to disappoint, Emma." Again, she thought, as a memory of her daughter scared and crying crossed her mind. Plus, she felt that she still needed some time away from Natalia to sort things out. "You sure it won't be too much... with the baby and everything? Uh... I heard that it was a girl."

"Yes, it's a girl, and everything is fine. Don't forget, I was 8 months pregnant with Rafe and still waitressing. So sometimes having to deal with guests who can't seem to understand that clothes hangers are not to be hung from the fire sprinklers isn't going to hurt me."

"Well... if you're sure..." Olivia began, "Then okay. I'll stay for the rest of my vacation."

"Good. It's settled. I'll call you tonight with an update. Have fun on the boat. Bye."

********************

It was getting to be a nightly thing. One or the other would think of an excuse, any excuse, to initiate a call to the other. This time, it was Natalia who called and asked when Emma's school started for the Fall. She could have easily looked it up on the net, called the school, or found out a number of different ways. But, why would she do that when it was the perfect reason to get to hear Olivia's voice. Nat was glad that, after they had discussed picking up the little girl, Olivia had continued to talk.

"I can't believe that they think that no one knows. I'm thinking about telling them that I know. " Natalia said, as she tucked the phone between her ear and shoulder and reached up in the cabinet to get a bowl. "I'm just not sure how to word it."

" Take a pointer from your son and be direct. Just say: Yo, Frankie, I know about you and Blake. Good job, dawg."

"Olivia!" Natalia snorted. "You do him so well. Ohhh... and the baby thinks so, too. She just kicked again. I think she knows your voice." The last part came out softly, almost like an afterthought.

"Really… you think so?" Olivia asked in wonder.

"Yes, you're the one person besides me whose voice the baby's heard the most. Think about it, we lived together for awhile, and then we saw each other every day until…." She took a deep breath before continuing, "I went away."

She hated to hear the pain in her voice. "Hey… let's not talk about that right now. Okay?" Shifting to get comfortable in the bed, she went on. "So, the little tyke knows who I am?"

"Yes, she does." Natalia answered, as she opened the refrigerator door and got out the milk for her morning cereal.

"So, you keep saying, she, I guess you and Frank haven't decided on a name?" See, she could do this. She could be a good friend.

"No, we haven't gotten that far. It needs to be the right fit, since she'll be both a Rivera and a Cooper…" And, Natalia mentally added, a Spencer, if I have anything to say about it.

All of a sudden, Olivia had the visual of a little tousled brown haired girl with the sweetest dimples. "It'll be a beautiful child."

"I know this sounds bad… but, I really hope she doesn't have Frank's big head."

"I was thinking the same thing!" Olivia laughed. "I guess we're still in sync that way..."

Natalia could tell that the woman she loved needed a bit of reassurance. "We'll always be in sync, Olivia. Some… things may change, but we'll always be a part of each other. At least, I hope so." She wanted to say more about her feelings for the slightly older woman, but she also knew that she couldn't push too hard. "I mean, as Emma would say, We're BFFs." Olivia had to laugh, at that since Natalia had captured her youngest daughter's voice and enthusiasm perfectly.

"Speaking of the little Jellybean, I think I hear her. Hold on."

Natalia could hear Olivia rising out of bed and opening the door. "Em, could you come here a minute?"

"But mommy I gotta get ready. Ava's gonna take me to the Wharf."

"Sweetie, I know; but there's someone who wants to talk to you." Taking a deep breath she said, "It's Natalia."

"Yay!" Well, it was obvious that the little girl held no ill will towards her other Mom, seeing as how she practically grabbed the phone out of her mother's hand.

"Natalia, you're back! Guess what? I saw seals! There were some baby seals, too. Oh, and I rode the Streetcar and I hung out the window when I did!"

Picturing her daughter bouncing up and down with joy brought a huge smile to Natalia's face. "Oh, sweetie, I'm so glad that you're having fun."

"I wish that you were here." Emma said seriously.

It tugged at Nat's heart to hear her say that. "Baby, I wish I was there, too. But, Em, I have a job, so I couldn't be there."

Sighing like her mother often did, she went on, "If you still worked with mommy, she would have let you come."

"Sweetie," Natalia began. How to make the nine year old understand?

"Emma, sweetie, that's not fair, okay?" Olivia sat on the bed and pulled her daughter on her lap. "You know Natalia loves you and would be here if she could." Saying the words out loud suddenly brought home to Olivia that, when Natalia left, it was because she had to, not because she wanted to. She would never intentionally hurt their daughter. It still hurt, but a bit less.

"Okay." Turning back to the phone, the little girl said, "Sorry, Natalia."

"It's okay; I miss you, too."

"When we get back, can we have a movie night?" Emma asked, glancing up at her mother as she spoke, trying to convey with eyes so like hers how much she wanted to spend time with her other mother. At her mother's nod, she happily relayed, "Mom says it's okay."

"Then movie night we'll have! Call me when you get back, and we'll decide which one, okay?"

"Okay. I love you! Here's mom." And with that, Emma handed off the phone before skipping out the door.

*********************

Where are the girls?"

"They're at movie retrospect. Do you remember the Our Gang series?"

Natalia smiled before replying. "I remember seeing them in re-runs on TV. You know... some of us weren't born when they first came out."

Caught off guard, Olivia could only laugh at the obvious crack at her being older than Natalia. "Hey, Rivera, I'd watch that if I were you." She had to admit that it was nice to be able to banter with her again. "Besides, you're just jealous cause, like fine wine, I only get better with age."

"That's very true. And you know how I like my wine." _I can't believe I said that._

"No, how?" Came the slight husky comment. Olivia couldn't believe that she was flirting right back, but god, did it feel good.

Natalia could imagine Olivia's eyes turning a darker shade of green, lips pursed, as she awaited her response.

"Well..." she paused as she thought of just the right response. "Full bodied comes to mind."

There is was, that deep throated chuckle that never ceased to cause her stomach to do summersaults. "Oh, ahem…I'll keep that in mind."

"Be sure you do. And, I hate to say it, but I have to go. I've got an early meeting with Blake."

"Sure, I understand." And she did, but she also hated that their conversation this morning was so brief. "Say, what are you doing late tomorrow afternoon?"

"I don't have anything in the afternoon. Rafe and I are having dinner, but that's not until 6:30. Why?"

"Em and I will be back by early afternoon and, I was wondering, did you want to stop by and see her?"

"I'd like nothing more. And I'm sure Rafe would like to see her, too."

"Good, I… we'll see you two tomorrow then."

As she hung up the phone, Natalia said a silent prayer that this meeting would be a new beginning for them.


	12. Chapter 12 The Birds and The Bees

Chapter 12 – The Birds and the Bees

"Natalia!" With that one word, Emma let them know that she had definitely forgiven her other Mother. But before she could reach the out stretched arms, Olivia reached out and pulled the little girl to her.

"Jellybean, wait. Come here a minute." She gave a quick small smile to Natalia, which hopefully let her know that she hadn't stopped her daughter out of anger. "Baby, you can't jump up on Natalia right now, okay?"

"Why not, Mommy?" Emma turned concerned eyes to her Mother. "Are you still mad at her?"

"Uh, no… I'm not exactly mad at her anymore." Olivia began, as she guided Emma to sit beside her on the bed. "But my feelings have nothing to do with why you have to be careful with Natalia. It's just that ..." Once again, she looked over at her ex-love. This time for guidance.

"Because you're going to be a big sister." Natalia smiled as she reached over and placed the little girl's hands on her belly.

Eyes wide, Emma asked, "How did that happen?"

"Uh, sweetie, you remember when the Momma duck laid her eggs—"

"That's a big egg!" Emma said, pointing to Natalia's stomach. "Are you going to have to sit on it, like the Momma did?"

It was all that Olivia could do not to laugh outright at her daughter's innocent question. Holding her hand over her mouth, she looked into the pleading eyes of the dark haired woman at the other end of the bed and mouthed, "You're on your own."

"Hah, no my precious girl, that's not the way it happens for people." At the little girl's inquiring look, she tried to continue. "See the… ahem, egg, as some call it, grows into a tiny person over a period of about 9 months in the mom's belly. Then they—"

"But how does it get there?"

"How… how does it get there? Now that's a very interesting question. Wouldn't you say so, Olivia?" As Emma turned around to face her mother, Nat gave Olivia a 'your turn' look.

Taking her daughter's hands in hers, Olivia began, "See when a man and a woman... well, I mean, usually it's a man and a woman, but it doesn't have to be… I mean, what with modern technology…"

"Okay, you two are getting me confused. I mean, if there are ducks, then where do the birds and bees come in?" Emma asked exasperated. "David, he's a boy in my Day Camp," Emma said to Natalia. "Well, he says that there are birds and bees involved. But I don't see how, since birds are bigger than bees…" Taking a breath, she continued. "And, plus people are not birds or bees."

"Right… uh… see people use birds and bees for examples, right, Natalia?" Olivia was getting a headache and, seeing as how this was really Natalia's fault anyway, decided to let her deal with it. I mean, if they had had the sex talk when she wanted to, as part of telling Emma about them, then they would have been better prepared for now.

"Yes, they do. You know, now that I think about it, I'm not sure why. It really doesn't make a lot of sense." Suddenly Natalia had a vision of a male bee trying to mate with a big black bird, and it caused her to giggle. "Sorry… ahem… I mean, it's really not funny... but... hah, hah, hah… it sort of is."

"You know, it is, when you really think about it. I mean, who thought of birds and bees?" With that Olivia joined in laughing.

Emma looked from one mom to the other and just shook her head. "Grownups." She would have commented more, but there was a knock on the door. "I'll get it."

"Hey, munchkin. What's up?" Rafe asked, as he entered the room.

"I'm not sure. Mom and Natalia are acting weird." The little girl replied, as she looked back at the two women still sitting or, in Olivia's case, reclining on the couch.

Following his sister's gaze, Rafe noticed his mother flapping her arms and making what could only be described as bird noises, while the laughing woman beside her kept going, "buzz, buzz" like she was a bee or something. "Yeah, they sure are." _At least_, he thought, _they're in the same room and aren't arguing_. He had been a bit surprised to get the call from his mother to meet her here, at Olivia's, instead of at the restaurant. Rafe really hoped that this meant that they were close to being back together.

"Can you take me for a walk?" Emma asked. At her brother's nod, she turned to her mother, saying, "Mom, I'm going to go for a walk with Rafe, okay?"

"Sure, baby… just don't take too long, because it's almost time for dinner, and we're having… _snort_… bird." And with that, Olivia almost rolled off of the couch, she was laughing so hard.

Both kids just shook their heads before closing the door.

"Can you just see a little bee trying to… _giggle_… put the moves on a big ole bird?" Natalia asked, placing her hand on Olivia's thigh.

"I know… or even the other way around… I mean, who thinks of these things? I just hope we haven't scarred our poor daughter for life."

Natalia realized that Olivia hadn't grasped what she had said about Emma being theirs. She hoped desperately it meant that her love was somewhat softening towards them getting back together. "We really have to do better in the future. I mean, aren't their books or something, that we could read?"

Wiping her eyes with the back of her hands Olivia responded, "Yeah, I'm sure there are some out there. I'll look, next time I go shopping." An awkward silence developed, as both women wondered what to do next.

"Look we can--"

"Whenever you--"

"Sorry." They both said at the same time. Olivia had to smile at that. Natalia was right: they were still in sync in, some ways. She nodded at the brunette to continue.

"I was just going to say that whatever you decide about letting me see Emma, I'll abide by it. I just want to spend some time with her." _And you_, she thought.

"I know how you feel about Em." It's my feelings I'm still trying to sort out. "So I won't keep you from her, Natalia. I'm not that cold hearted."

"I never said you were, and I'm sorry if I ever made you feel that way." There was more she wanted to say to convey, what she thought of the auburn-haired woman but, for the second time tonight, there was a knock on the door.

"Excuse me." Olivia said, as she got up to answer the door. "Philip."

"Hey, Olivia, I know I didn't call, but I really need to talk to you." Looking behind her and seeing Natalia, he went on. "Natalia, it's good that you're here, cause she's going to need both of you."

"Phillip what are you talking about?" His ex-wife asked, as she moved back and allowed him in. "Who's going to need us?"

By the look on his face, both women expected that it concerned their daughter.

"Did something happen to Emma?" Natalia asked, coming to stand next to Olivia and taking her hand. "She was just here with Rafe."

Philip gave a slight smile at the sight of the two of them holding hands. His little girl was so lucky to be surrounded by such love. "It's not her; it's me."

At the two women's worried looks, he continued. "I don't have much time to explain. I know

that Emma and Rafe will be back soon; I saw them down in the lobby. But… the bottom line is that… I'm very sick."

***************

"Oh, my God..." Olivia said breathlessly. "This can't be happening."

"Olivia, look at me." Natalia commanded. "Baby, you have to breathe, okay?" The last thing they needed was for Olivia to end up in the hospital. "Take deep breaths."

Keeping her eyes focused on the brown ones in front of her, she did what was asked.

"Better?"

Nodding her head, Olivia tried speaking again. "Nat, one of my daughters' just lost her father. This can't happen to the other one."

"It won't. Philip said that he was looking into treatment."

"Experimental treatment; it may not work." She said softly, "How do I tell Emma, if it doesn't?"

"We'll tell her together. I'll be right there with you. There's no way you two will go through this alone," Natalia answered, before pulling Olivia into her arms and rocking her gently, as the tears flowed.

It felt so right. She could have stayed there all day, in Natalia's arms, for she did love her. However, knowing that she loved Natalia, and being able to be in a relationship with her, were two different things. The last time they were together, it had almost broken her. Bottom line, she was still too raw emotionally from Natalia's leaving, and she knew this want...this need... would only come back to hurt her. Pulling back she said, "I'm okay. I have to be." With that, she stood up and headed towards the bathroom. "I need to get myself cleaned up a bit before Emma gets back."

"Olivia, can I do anything else for you tonight?"

A tear-stained face looked back and answered, "No. But...thank you…for being here."

"There's no other place I'd rather be." She watched Olivia simply nod her head before retreating into the bathroom.


	13. Chapter 13 Dreaming While Awake

Chapter 13 – Dreaming While Awake

Being pregnant at a young age and raising Rafe by herself, Natalia hadn't had time much for "bar hopping" or "partying," as most of her peers had done. Sure, in the last 20 years, there were the occasional dates to the movies, maybe dinner, and once to a church dance, but that was it. As she got older, working in smoke filled bars to make ends meet meant that it was the last thing she wanted to do in her off hours. Yet, in the last year, the now 36-year-old had been in not one, not two but, counting this one, three bars.

"You want another one, Sweetie?" Came the slow drawl from the other side of the bar.

"Sure, why not?" She hadn't started out in the direction of the neighborhood bar but, once she had seen the neon sign saying, "Farley's", with a poster for "Ladies Night", Natalia was intrigued. Luckily for her, the state had recently passed a no smoking ban, so she didn't have to worry about that in her condition. And, once inside, she had found that it really didn't look all that different from the other time she and Olivia had been here shooting pool with Josh and Jeffrey.

The only real difference was that this time there were no men in sight. Most of the patrons were about her age, with a few either older or younger ones sprinkled in. Some of them were coupled up, either sitting at tables or moving on the dance floor. She thought it would be weird to see two women dancing, but it really wasn't. It was, after all, just two people moving to the music, enjoying themselves. She had often wondered how it would feel to have Olivia in her arms like that. _Olivia_, she just couldn't stop thinking about her.

* * *

Sitting down with Emma had been the hardest thing to do, but somehow she and Philip had gotten through it. They had told their daughter that her father was very sick and might not be there for Christmas. Olivia had been ready for the little girl to scream to the high heavens. But, instead, she had simply hugged her father before declaring, "It's gonna be all right, daddy. You'll see." Her father had only smiled and nodded his head. What could he say? What could Olivia say? It was as if they were having a bad dream, but they were awake. And neither parent was sure how to make a nine-year-old understand the gravity of the situation.

Emma was now at Natalia's, baking cookies to give to her father. Olivia had dropped her off a couple of hours ago. Not wanting to face the brunette, after breaking down in her arms two nights before, she had watched their daughter safely enter the Farmhouse before driving off. She knew that Natalia would have questions concerning her behavior but, hopefully, she could put them off at least another day.

Shaking her head slightly, Olivia picked up the phone and punched in a few numbers. "Greg, the Senator will be coming into town later this week. Please book him in the Junior Penthouse suite the nights of the 24th and... ah... you know, the day after that, okay? Well, book him for that one, too. Just do your job!" Slamming down the phone, Olivia placed her head in her hands and tried to calm down. Just take a couple of deep breaths. Remember, it's just a day of the month.

She had known that this day was coming: the date of her mother's death. Usually, Olivia prepared for it, but this time she was caught off guard what with her concern for Philip, not to mention the Natalia situation.

It had been so right when the other woman had placed her soft hand in hers as Philip broke the news to them that he was, for all intents and purposes, dying. True, he had phoned this morning with the news that there was a procedure, but it was purely experimental, and posed a great risk to the person donating, as well. He said he didn't know if he could live, knowing that someone died to save him.

Massaging her temples, Olivia tried to get a grip on things. After all, she had a hotel to run, and a rambunctious little girl to look after, although she didn't have to worry about her tonight, since Natalia would drop her off at the Mahler's for a sleepover with Clarissa.

_Ring!_

Seeing the caller ID, she snatched the phone up on the first ring. "What is it? I'm really not in the mood to talk."

"I thought you'd like to know that Natalia's at Farley's, and you should get here fast." Doris Wolfe said into her cell phone.

"Doris, why would I care if Natalia's there?"

"Because, as the song goes, 'It's Ladies Night and the feeling's right...' and trust me, there are definitely some women here who don't think that a 6 month pregnant woman is a turn off."

"If you're fooling with me about this, I swear that I will end your political career - pronto. Cause trust me, today of all days, I do not need this shit!" Olivia hollered into the phone.

"Look, I know you have a lot going on with Philip and everything, but I also know you care about the woman, and that you wouldn't want anything to happen to her. And we both know that she's a little naive...not to mention inexperienced, when it comes to a few things."

Sighing, Olivia answered. "Okay. Fine. I'll be there in a few minutes. Can you just sorta watch her until then?"

"Of course. What are friends for? I'll be here." With that, Doris closed her phone before mumbling, "I really hope I did the right thing." Truth be told, it was a slow night with hardly anyone there, probably due to the upcoming storm predicted to hit soon. She knew that Olivia had been avoiding Natalia, but she also knew, no felt, that if the two could ever just talk and really listen to each other, then things would work out for them. And, if they could make it, then maybe she'd have a chance. "Get a grip, Doris this is only your second date with the woman." But what a date it was turning out to be, complete with floor show.

"Hey, sorry I was gone so long, but I ran into someone from work." The redhead said as she sat down.

"That's okay, Jay. You're just in time." At her date's inquisitive look, Doris pointed to the front door ,where Olivia Spencer was now standing, hand on hip and looking very pissed.


	14. Chapter 14 Like a Star

Chapter 14 – Like a Star

Olivia saw her as soon as she entered the bar. Long flowing hair as dark as a starless night. She was wearing that dark green top that Olivia knew would make her chocolate eyes stand out even more. And those dimples…dimples that she was now showing an attractive blonde that had just sat down beside her. _What the fuck?_

Seeing the woman sit beside Natalia brought out what could only be described as a primal need to protect what was hers. And she had come to realize that, no matter what, Natalia was, and always would be just that: hers to love. Not thinking consciously about what she was doing, Olivia found herself stalking up to the bar. So intent on her target, she almost didn't see the waitress with a tray full of drinks coming right at her. The young woman's warning to "Watch it!" momentarily stopped her, but it was enough for her to be brought back down to reality. She couldn't very well throttle the woman for just sitting next to Natalia. But there were other ways to make sure that the woman knew that the dark-haired beauty was not available.

"Why is it I'm always running into you at bars these days?" She whispered into Natalia's right ear, as she laid her arm around her shoulder and felt the younger woman shiver slightly.

"Olivia! What are you doing here?" Natalia asked, turning slightly to look up at her.

"Why, looking for you, of course." The other woman replied, before turning jealous green eyes to the woman on her right, who wisely took the hint and murmured a quick goodbye before she departed.

"Why did you run her off?"

"I did no such thing. I guess she had something better to do."

"Yeah… right. If I didn't know better, I would think that you were jealous. But... that can't be, since you've been avoiding me the last couple of days." Natalia said.

"I haven't... I've… just been very busy, that's all." Olivia replied.

"Right, whatever." Natalia realized that tonight, she was too tired to play games. "You know what, why don't you just get on your white charger and head out of here."

"Uh... excuse me?" Olivia said narrowing her eyes. "You want me to leave?"

"Oh, you can stay here at the bar, if you want. But, I no longer want to talk to you." With that, Natalia turned towards the bartender. "Sherri? Can I have my check, please?"

Olivia, for her part, stood speechless, rapidly blinking her eyes, trying to figure out what was happening. She was the one who usually told a person off and then turned her back on them. Not the other way around. "What just a minute--"

"Is she bothering you?" Sherri asked, pulling herself up to her full 5'9" height and glaring at Olivia, before sliding the bill across the bar.

"It's okay." Glancing at the check, Natalia laid a ten dollar bill on the bar before giving the woman a wink. "She's really all bark and no bite."

"Oh, an ex girlfriend, huh?" The bleach blonde laughed before taking the money and giving Nat a wink back.

"Something like that. See you next time." With that, she started for the door, with Olivia trailing behind.

Once outside, Olivia took Natalia's arm and turned her around. Wagging her finger in Natalia's face, Olivia was livid. "Oh, no, I'm not going anywhere, until we get a few things straight. I don't want you talking to strangers about our personal life!"

"Is that a command, 'ole exalted one'? Am I now a child who gets told what to do?" Natalia asked. "Oh, that's right, I'm just a stupid naive girl so, of course, you have to tell me how to talk and who I can talk to, right?"

"I never said you were stupid! But, as for being a child, well, lately you've been acting like one."

"I've been acting like one?? I'm not the one who was in the bar acting like an over protective high school girlfriend!" Natalia hollered.

In just about any other circumstance, she wouldn't have done it. But here...now...with her emotions on edge, and Natalia looking so beautiful, with the moonlight shining upon her, and her eyes blazing similar to how Olivia imagined they would be when the younger woman was aroused, she just couldn't stop herself. Before she could think twice, Olivia cupped Natalia's face in her hands and brought her mouth down upon the lips of the smaller woman. Moaning, Olivia slid her tongue along the soft mouth, which opened, allowing the kiss to deepen. And when their tongues met, Olivia was sure that she'd explode on the spot. Hands were caught in auburn hair as Natalia pulled even closer the woman who meant everything to her. How long they stayed like that, neither was sure. A minute…two…more… all they did know was that it ended too soon.

Leaning their foreheads together, each took deep breaths, trying to steady themselves. "Come home with me." Natalia said softly.

"I...I shouldn't...have done that..." Olivia stammered, before stepping back, realizing that tonight, of all nights, was not the one for this…for them…to happen.

"Why? We both wanted it."

"But we still have things…to discuss…and when I tell you…you..might not want me." Olivia stammered.

"Olivia, why can't you love yourself like those around you do?"

Shaking her head slightly, she muttered, "Just...forget it."

Shaking her head, Natalia moved closer. "No. I don't want to forget it. What is it that makes you feel that you don't deserve our love: Emma's, Ava's, mine?

"It doesn't matter..."

"It does to me." Natalia pleaded. "Tell me what you're feeling?"

"I just can't. I know we have to talk…about a lot of things…but not tonight. Tomorrow… maybe. But just not tonight."

It was something in the tone of her voice that made Natalia really look at the woman in front of her. And, for a brief moment, Natalia thought that she saw something that she'd never seen before, in Olivia's eyes: fear. But, just as quickly, it was gone. Knowing that she wouldn't get more out of the other woman, Natalia just nodded and agreed, before leaving, "Tomorrow, then."


	15. Chapter 15 Push

Chapter 15 – Push

Natalia hated storms, and when you had a house with as many rooms as hers, that was a lot of windows to check. Leaning against the doorframe of the room that had once belonged to the woman she loved, Natalia was flooded with memories. Olivia, dressed in shimmering red, hair in an upsweep showing off her gorgeous neck, standing just inside the door, drink in hand. _You sound like someone's wife. Just not mine._ With those words, the older woman had once again tried to express her feelings but, running scared, Natalia had cut her off by indicating that perhaps Olivia had had too much to drink. Deep in thought, it took a minute for Natalia to realize that she wasn't alone. Someone was coming up the stairs and, since she had just hung up the phone with Rafe, she knew it wasn't her son.

"I have a gun, and I'll use it if I have to!!"

_Oh, my god, she really doesn't have a gun, does she?_ Olivia thought.

For all intents and purposes, Natalia Anna Maria Rivera was a kind, loving soul but then, being six months pregnant and alone in a big empty house in the middle of nowhere might have caused her to partake of a weapon. Better safe than sorry. "Natalia! It's me; it's Olivia. Don't shoot!"

"Olivia, what in blazes--" Natalia stopped in mid-sentence, as she gazed upon a very wet and wild looking woman. To say that she resembled a drowned mouse would be putting it mildly. Her usually perfectly coiffured hair hung like a wet mop on her head. Beautiful green eyes were ringed with smeared mascara, making it look like the hotelier had gone a few rounds with a prizefighter and lost.

"So, I take it you don't have a gun?" Olivia asked, as she leaned on the banister and took off her one remaining shoe, as the other was stuck somewhere along the long driveway in the mud.

"Uh... no, that was just a ruse to scare off would-be burglars." Moving down a few stairs closer, Natalia asked, "What happened?"

"I was out playing tidily winks," came the sarcastic reply. "What the hell do you think happened?"

Taking a deep breath, Natalia went on. "I meant, what are you doing out here this late, and how did you get stuck in the rain?"

"Uh... I promised Emma that I would check on the ducks. I figured I had time before the rain hit." Even to her ears, the explanation sounded extremely lame. In truth, Olivia had been driving around, trying to clear her head and, needing something to ground her, she had ended up at the Farmhouse, amidst the familiar barn and house, not to mention the woman inside it. Parking under the grove of trees at the edge of the property, she was close enough so that she could see shadows in the windows, but not close enough to be noticed. She made a mental note to mention to Natalia later, about getting the trees cut down a bit. Olivia didn't like thinking that someone else could do the same thing, and watch her unobserved.

Giving her an unbelieving look, the younger woman slightly shook her head and said, "Right. Okay, I guess it doesn't really matter why you're here. What does matter is that you need to get out of those wet clothes. I think there's a pair of sweats upstairs that you left behind."

Following Natalia up the stairs, Olivia remarked, "You're just now telling me that I left clothes behind?"

"Well, you're just now letting me know that you still have the key to the Farmhouse. Plus, you know I don't have a lot of sweats...and...they're very comfortable.

There it went - the fluttering in her stomach. Like a thousand butterflies being released. Tonight it was magnified, as images of the light caramel-skinned woman pulling Olivia's worn pants over her smooth hips popped into her head. She had to stop that train of thought, or it was going to be one very long night.

Natalia heard Olivia stumble, and smiled slightly. It helped her self-confidence a bit to know that she still affected the other woman.

"Why don't you take a hot shower, and I'll place the sweats and a t-shirt on your old bed."

"Okay, but first I need to use your phone and call to check on Emma. My cell doesn't seem to be working."

"You know where it is. I'll start the shower for you." Heading towards the guest bathroom, Natalia remembered dozens of times she had done the very same thing, after Olivia had come home late from the office. Olivia would first spend a few moments talking to their daughter, while the shower got hot. As she showered, Natalia would warm up the other woman's dinner and, after Olivia came down, they would spend time together just talking. It was those times she missed the most.

Olivia observed the dark-haired woman, who stood with a wistful look on her face, turning the shower knob a bit to the right, trying to get the temperature just right. How many times before had they been in just this same scenario? "Ahem."

"Oh, sorry, I didn't hear you. I think it's about right."

Nodding, Olivia moved into the small room, being careful not to bump into the younger woman. "Natalia…"

"Yes?"

"Thanks."

Nodding her head, Natalia simply replied, "I'll see you downstairs."

* * *

"Feeling better?" Natalia asked from her place on the couch.

"Yes, thanks. The soup hit the spot."

"Good." Natalia said, before cutting off the TV and getting up to walk towards the other woman. "Now maybe you'll tell me what in the hell is going on!"

"I told you--"

"Stop it! Stop with the lame excuse, and just tell me the truth. We both know what it is."

Crossing her arms, Olivia asked, "And just what is that?"

Smiling slightly said, "That you were checking up on me." Reaching out and touching Olivia's arm, she continued. "It's okay that you care."

"Is it? Cause from what I see, it just causes pain. Maybe not at first…but it will. It always does." Olivia said unsteadily.

"Olivia, there's some pain in life, no matter what. We both know that. But…we ease each other's pain…we always have…" Moving closer and cupping her cheek, Natalia continued. "…and we always will." As she gazed into green eyes made glossy with unshed tears, Natalia saw hurt…pain…and sorrow. And she knew that whatever significance today meant to her love, it wasn't good. "So, whenever you're ready to talk, I'm ready to listen."

Leaning into the smaller woman's touch, Olivia could feel her nerves easing a bit. "It's just too much tonight. I really want—"

"I'm not going anywhere." Briefly touching her lips to the other woman's brow, Natalia continued. "I'll be right here when you wake up. I promise."

Looking deeply into the brunette's eyes, Olivia saw that she meant it; she would not leave her this time.


	16. Chapter 16 Halo

Chapter 16 - Halo

The screams woke her out of a sound sleep. _Olivia!_ Not stopping to put on her slippers, Natalia raced down the hall, flinging open the bedroom door from where the sounds emendated. Before her, the woman she loved was thrashing on the bed crying out, "No! Please, don't die!!"

"Baby, wake up." Natalia said, as she touched the crying woman's shoulder. "You're having a bad dream." It took a nudge or two, but finally dark green eyes flung open.

"Wha—what happened? Natalia, what are you doing here?"

"You had a bad dream, and you were screaming." Natalia began, sitting down on the side of the bed. "You kept saying that you didn't want someone not to die."

"Oh…uh… it was nothing." Olivia said, sitting up in the bed.

"Olivia…you've got to talk about what's eating at you. That sort of thing will tear you apart. I should know; it's part of the reason I left."

"Why did you leave?" She hadn't meant to ask. It seemed to just bubble out of her, like so many things lately.

"Sweetie, I left because I was falling apart and, at the time, the only way I thought I could deal with it was to go away for awhile." Natalia answered, as she leaned over and brushed a lock of hair out of her love's face.

"To leave me? Emma? Rafe?" Olivia asked, tears forming. "Couldn't you trust us?"

"It wasn't you that I didn't trust; it was me. I didn't trust myself not to fall apart, and I couldn't, no, wouldn't, let the people I love see me like that: like a crazy woman." Getting up off the bed, she placed one hand on her forehand, and other on her hip, as she began to pace to the door and back. "I had so many thoughts going through my mind. And the guilt...my god, all of the pain of hurting Rafe, Frank, you...everyone. Then I started to think about this baby and whether or not I deserved it, because of the things I had done..." Whirling around, she stared wild-eyed, "Olivia... I thought about not having this baby...and that was just more guilt!"

Stepping close to the bed, she continued. "All my life, I've let situations rule me… lead me. Especially having Rafe and my parents disowning me. And when I got the results of the pregnancy test, it was as if I was transported back to one of the scariest times in my life. I think if I would have stayed here, I would have had a nervous breakdown or something."

"Why didn't you just tell me that?" Olivia asked.

"As I tried to tell you before, where you're concerned, it's hard for me to be rationale. Every time I'm near you, I can't think straight. All I want to do is touch you. And I had so much to think about. I needed to get away, with no distractions."

"I'm trying to understand, I really am...but I just keep coming back to the fact that you left me. I thought... that maybe it was my fault that you left."

"No!" Reaching over and cupping Olivia's jaw, Natalia went on. "It was me. Not you. Please believe that. This is on me."

"It's just that when you left... I..._I…_did fall apart."

Natalia looked into deep emerald eyes, "I know. Rafe told me about the handcuff episode."

"If only it was that." Olivia took a moment to gather her thoughts before continuing, "While you were gone... I... I started to drink.... a lot." When Nat would have commented, she held up her hand to stall her. She, too, had to get the truth out. "I scared myself... and... I'm ashamed to say, I scared Emma, too."

She still couldn't believe how she had screamed one morning, at her youngest daughter, about something so trivial she couldn't even remember now what it was. All she could see was the little girl's face, gripped in fear. "That's why I lashed out at you when you mentioned talking to Emma. I felt that I had let her down so much, that I'm afraid I went overboard a bit in my bid to try to protect her."

"Sweetie, you didn't knowingly set out to hurt Emma. Just like I didn't." Gently tugging Olivia's cheek until eyes now filled with tears looked at her, she went on. "We both made some big mistakes these last couple of weeks. But, I also think that we came out on the other side better. Do you know what I mean?"

Shrugging her shoulders, Olivia used a free hand to wipe at her tears. "No... I mean... I guess so. It's just that I always seem to hurt people. Even the ones that I love!"

"Olivia, I know you. Sometimes I think better than myself and I know that you would never deliberately hurt someone that you loved. That's not who you are."

Looking into the depth of the dark eyes, she saw tenderness and love but, to her wonderment, not judgment. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and told the person she loved the most her horrible secret: that she had killed her mother.

"How?"

"Wha...what?" Shock. Disbelief. Disgust. Those were what she had expected. But instead, she only saw loving eyes boring directly into hers. Eyes that she often thought belonged to an angel, for only such a holy creation could have gotten her to ever think that she deserved to be happy, although deep down, a part of her kept saying that no matter what she did, she could never make up for what she had done. "26 years ago today, I killed my mother. So, see, you don't know me at all."

"If what you said is true, that at the age of 16 you calculated, planned, and carried out killing a human being, one in fact that gave you life…then you're right. 'Cause that Olivia Spencer I don't know." Natalia knew in her heart that the woman before her, if she had to, would kill but only to protect those that she loved and cared about. "But, if you're telling me that somehow, by accident, you caused your mother's death, then that I can understand."

"Fuck! How? How can you stand there and say that you understand??" Sometimes she was the most infuriating person. "I'm a killer!"

Shaking her head vehemently, Natalia disagreed. "No, you're not. And believe it or not, I do understand." She placed her hand across Olivia's mouth in an attempt to stop whatever else she was going to say. "Will you listen to me, for a moment?" As the woman before her nodded her head, Natalia gently caressed her bottom lip before taking her hand away.

"You don't think that, after my parents kicked me out, I didn't wish them dead? I was 16, pregnant, with $62.75 in my pocket, on the streets of Chicago. I was so mad that they could treat me like that! And, it caused me to do something stupid, that almost hurt someone. Someone who was like family to me…" she finished softly.

Olivia could tell that, for a moment, Natalia was back in that time and place, and it hurt like hell to know that she had caused her to go there. "What happened?" she asked. in an attempt to get the other woman talking again.

"We lived on the second floor of a walkup. I was never the athlete, so I'm not sure why I thought that I could make a throw like that. But…there was this piece of brick on the walk in front of the building and, before I knew what was happening, it was hurling through the window…of Tia Maria. I heard later that she had to get 5 stitches right above her eye. If it had been just inches below…she would be blind…or…. inches above, and she might have died."

Seeing the hurt in her love's eyes that so mirrored her own, Olivia was moved beyond tears. Slowly she reached up and took a tan hand in hers. "Sit before you fall."

Doing as she was told, Natalia sat beside Olivia and placed her head on the other woman's shoulder and her arm around a slim waist. "Now you tell me."

Maybe it would be good to finally just get it all out. "We were arguing. We had done it before, but never like this. I said…god, I said the most awful things to her, and that was on top of humiliating her by accusing a member of the royal house of getting me pregnant." Taking a deep breath, she went on. "And then…then I raised my hand to her. Natalia, I slapped my mother." She hadn't even told Buzz that part. Now Olivia realized that, even though she loved him, it wasn't like she loved the woman sitting next to her.

"You were upset. You were a teenager, Olivia; your emotions were on edge."

"But after that…she got this look on her face, and she told me that she never should have had me. That I was nothing but a disgrace, and then…she just keeled over. It was a massive stroke."

"Look at me. Come on…look at me." When she was sure that she had the other woman's full attention, Natalia said firmly. "It was not your fault. If she died that quickly, then baby, it was too late…any little thing would have caused her to stroke." Still seeing doubt in her love's eyes, she went on. "Think about it. You had major heart problems. There's probably a family history of heart disease and strokes. Back then, they didn't encourage eating right and getting enough exercise. Your mother didn't know how to take care of herself. That's why she ultimately died…**you** didn't kill her."

"I want to believe that."

"I wouldn't lie to you about something so important."

"No…no, you wouldn't." Suddenly, she was so tired. Olivia felt that, for the first time in a long time, she might actually be able to sleep for more than an hour or so at a time.

Sensing her beloved's need, Natalia leaned over and gently wiped away the few tears that remained. "Sweetie, why don't you lay down and get some sleep."

"Okay…but will you stay with me? For a little bit?"

"I wasn't planning on going anywhere."

And, as if they had been doing it forever, without another word being spoken, both climbed into bed, Olivia curling onto her right side, her head on Natalia's chest, and her hand on her partner's slightly swollen belly.


	17. Chapter 17 No Ordinary Love

_Note: This chapter and the next are both M/NC-17 for sexual content between consenting adults. In this case, two women. _

Chapter 17 – No Ordinary Love

Olivia's was out almost as soon as her head hit Natalia's chest. Looking down at their hands entwined on her belly, Natalia took a deep breath to calm herself. She wanted nothing more than to touch the woman lying against her, but she knew that today had been an extremely hard day for her love, and she needed to rest. She had long ago memorized the features, but now to be able to touch them was a rare treat.

Starting with eyes that could easily change from sea green when smiling, to stormy blackish green when she was mad, down to high cheekbones, and a natural full mouth that most Hollywood actresses paid thousands of dollars to have--Olivia was stunning.

As much as she just wanted to lie there and observe, she needed to rise, and soon, as the baby was pushing against her bladder. Trying to slide out from under Olivia's arm and leg, she managed to just stand before she heard a mumbled, "Where ya going?"

"Just to the bathroom. I'll be back." Slipping from underneath the covers, she padded across the room towards the door. Another mumble, which sounded like, "Hurry back, baby…" made her look back just in time to see Olivia turn over, causing her t-shirt to rise up and expose a vast portion of her supple back. A shiver shot up Natalia's spine and, for a moment, she had to hold on to the doorframe for support. She stood for a moment and just gazed at...beauty, before she quickly walked down the hall.

******************

Sighing, Natalia shuffled down the hallway back towards Olivia's bedroom, but stopped when she spied flickering light coming from under her the entryway to her bedroom. Opening the door, she was greeted with a most wonderful sight—her beloved lying on her bed as she had dreamed time and time again. Adding to the effect was the warm glow cast by tea lights scattered throughout the room.

"The lights were flickering, so I thought that I'd light a few candles, just in case. And I figured you'd be more comfortable in here." Olivia said, with a slight smile on her face, as she set up and moved to the side of the bed. "Plus, I have to admit…I've often wondered how it would be to sleep in your bed.

"Oh, really?"

"Yes. Now, come here." Olivia said, holding out her hand. Wrapping her arms around her love's waist, she pulled her tight against her before placing a small kiss on her belly. "You know, we really have to name this kid."

"We've still got some time." Natalia replied, as she slowly ran her hands through dark auburn hair.

"Not according to our little girl. She wants a name, and soon."

It warmed Nat's heart to hear, "our little girl". Trying not to let the tears flow, she replied, "Well, I think I had gotten up to the I's."

"Hmmm...how about Ireland?"

Laughing, Natalia answered, "Do we really want to confuse her? She'll already have to deal with her Puerto Rican, Greek, and San Cristobel heritage. Do we really want to confound her even more by naming her after a country?"

Looking up in wonder, Olivia asked, "We're going to teach her my heritage, too?"

"Honey, you're her other mother; of course she'll learn about where you came from. Olivia, I'm not sure if I can explain it…but, in some ways, this is more your child that it is Frank's. When I think about raising her, I think of you…and me. Not him." Seeing the uncertainty in the other woman's eyes, she went on. "Like I said before, she knows your voice. And she'll spend way more time with you than she will with him. At least, I hope so. I want you here…with me. I love you." Olivia still hadn't actually said that she would move back in to raise the baby.

Olivia saw the fear in Natalia's eyes, and whatever last piece of misgiving that she had-- dissolved. "I love you too, and want to be with you. So, yes I will help you raise our daughter." With that she stood up and placed a hand on either side of the now smiling face and leisurely but thoroughly kissed the other woman leaving no doubt of her intentions.

When the soft lips left hers, it took Natalia a moment to gather her thoughts, and when she opened her eyes, she was greeted with the "look". That one in a kind way that the older woman narrowed her eyes and looked right through you…into your very soul. It left Natalia feeling as if nothing else mattered but her, and that Olivia desired her, and no one else. Feeling her knees beginning to buckle, Natalia placed her hands on Olivia's waist and leaned forward slightly, with her head on the other woman's shoulder.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes…" Natalia began before licking her lips. "It's just that, when you look at me like that…like I'm the only one that you want…and need…well, it does something to me."

"I want to know. Please tell me." Olivia said softly.

Having heard Olivia finally say that she wanted the same thing that Natalia wanted gave her a boost in confidence. Raising her head slightly, she whispered into her love's ear, "It gets me…wet."

"Uh…okay." Olivia replied, a bit unsteadily, which was definitely out of character for her. Clearing her throat, she went on. "I mean…I'm glad that I can make you feel that way."

"Do I make you feel that way?" Natalia asked, before taking Olivia's earlobe in her mouth and sucking on it. Her answer was a groan that she felt start deep in the other woman's chest.

"Good." With that, Natalia pressed soft lips to soft lips, reveling in the pleasure that now surged upwards throughout her body, until she almost couldn't breathe. Slowly, she inched Olivia backwards, until the back of her legs hit the edge of the bed.

Breaking the kiss, Olivia asked, "Did anyone ever tell you that you're a damn good kisser?"

Natalia could see the desire Olivia's eyes. However, there was more in those green depths, too; her beloved was nervous. For all of her experience, this was out of her realm—being with a woman.

"Olivia, we don't have to rush this." Leaning once again on the other woman's shoulder, Natalia went on. "We have all the time in the world. I'm not going anywhere." Sensing Olivia relaxing a bit, she continued. "And if we have to go slow… and….practice…over and over to get it right…"

"Practice does make perfect. Plus, we have the kissing part down pretty good, don't you think?"

Olivia said as her eyes flicked down to view the pink lips so close to her own.

"Oh, yeah, definitely." Natalia answered, as she softly traced Olivia's jaw line. "You are so beautiful. You almost take my breath away."

Olivia had heard many men say much the same thing to her. However, never had she heard the words spoken with such sincerity…and devotion. "Make love with me."

"Yes." Natalia uttered, before once again crushing her lips to Olivia's, where almost immediately her tongue gained entrance and began to explore the soft mouth. Moving her hands from auburn tresses down to a firm backside, she pulled the other woman roughly against her. Natalia could feel the heat radiating from her beloved, and it made her warm…inside and out. It was too hot to be clothed. Reluctantly severing their connection, dark eyes looked deeply into dark jade ones, and no words needed to be spoken, as Olivia slipped her hands under the hem of her shirt before pulling it over her head and flinging it to the floor.

Using the back of her hand, Natalia slowly circled around one of the slightly protruding nipples, feeling it harden under her touch. "I've thought about doing this so many times," she said, before taking the pink tip into her mouth and gently sucking it. The sensation was almost more than she could bear. Rough texture against her smooth lips, and she pulled back slightly before taking even more into her mouth.

"Ohhh…baby…that feels so good." Olivia whimpered, as she held Natalia close to her.

"I'm glad." Natalia answered, before switching to the other nipple.

She'd hardly had her fill before Olivia urged her head up and closed her mouth over hers briefly before reaching down and grabbing the edge of Natalia's gown. "You are the beautiful one." Olivia remarked after raising the garment over her love's head and dropping it to the floor. All she could do for a moment was gaze at the woman before her bathed in the glow of the soft candle light.

"Olivia…I don't think I can stand you not touching me," whispered Natalia, her voice filled with need. "Please…"

Her eyes never leaving Natalia's, Olivia wet the tip of her index finger and began to trace a path unhurriedly across the shorter woman's chest…over one nipple and then over the next…before continuing down to just below her belly button and back up again. "Your skin is so smooth…it's like silk. I want to feel it against me." With that, Olivia pushed down her sweat pants before pulling back the top sheet and climbing into bed, moving over to allow room for the love of her life to lie down next to her.

Hands reached out and touched wherever possible…breasts…stomach. Bit by bit, they learned one another's body…while lips devoured each other. Finally, neither could stand the ache, and Olivia rolled over onto her back, with Natalia climbing on top. Both began to move against each other…center pressing into center…feeling their wetness merge. Over and over, in a timeless rhythm. Then, as one, they both cried out their release, before falling into each other's arms.


	18. Chapter 18 You're the Only One

_Note: This chapter is **M/NC-17** definitely not suitable for reading at work. Thanks to everyone who took the time to comment on this story. Special thanks to my beta, Erin Bree, and to my girl, Krazy._

Chapter 18 – You're the Only One

"You okay, Baby?" Olivia asked, as she ran her hand through luscious hair, the color of midnight, which was splayed over her stomach.

Looking up, the woman laying half on top of her answered, "Yes… That was wonderful, Love."

"Mmmm….you can say that again."

"Then I say we do it again." And with that, Natalia began a slow crawl up her lover's body, stopping to place kisses on firm thighs and a taut stomach.

"Ohhh!" Came a loud moan.

"Olivia! Are you okay?" Panicked, Natalia stopped moving and looked up at Olivia. "Is it your heart?"

"No…it's just that when you started to move up…your… uh…nipple touched a very sensitive area, Love."

Blushing slightly, Natalia asked, "I take it you liked that?" Seeing Olivia nod her head while giving her a sensual smile gave Natalia confidence. She raked the tip of her left breast through wet folds before once again moving upward, stopping to slowly move her now hard nipple across the bundle of nerves located between Olivia's thighs. The younger woman was amazed at the look of unadulterated pleasure that was spreading across her lover's face. She, shy Natalia Rivera, was doing that: pleasing the woman that she loved. She could feel her own body responding, and there was an ache building in between her own legs. As if by instinct, she straddled Olivia's right thigh and began to move. The other woman moaned above her, and clutched at her shoulders, needing to hold on to something. The more Olivia moaned and moved, the harder Natalia rubbed…and rode. Harder…faster…louder. Until both of them cried out in satisfaction, before Natalia once again collapsed onto her beloved.

"That…that…was…" Olivia gulped for air before continuing. "Fucking fantastic. I can honestly say that I've never felt such pleasure before. And, I don't just mean physical."

"Oh, Olivia—"

"I mean it. When we make love, it's like we make love with our whole being: body, mind, and soul. I've never, ever, felt that before. Only with you."

She tried not to cry, but the words just spoken had touched her greatly. Rising up, Natalia leaned over the woman she loved more than anything, and gently placed a kiss of love, and promise, on her lips. "You're my everything…forever." Pulling up the sheet, she said, "I think we need to rest a bit, baby."

"Yeah." Olivia yawned before snuggling up to Natalia, who was now lying beside her. "We'll have to talk to Emma in the morning. Tell her about us." She didn't have to look at Natalia to know that she was smiling. And, as she lay there with her head on Nat's chest, hand on her stomach, she thought how right it felt. As many lovers as she had lain with, even those that she had loved, she had ever experienced such contentment. Finally, she was home.

* * *

"Sshhh…" Emma whispered. "They're sleeping. See." With that, she eased open the door a bit more. "They look happy, don't they?" she asked, turning big eyes so like her mother's to him.

"Yeah, Short Stuff, I gotta admit that they do look happy." He had seen his mother, many times throughout his 19 years, as she slept and, he had to admit, this was the most relaxed that he had seen her in a long time—curled up in Olivia's arms. "Come on, Em. Let's go find something to eat."

With that, he leaned over and softly closed the door, before leading his sister down the stairs, only to be stopped cold by her next comment. "Rafe, I'm sorta confused."

"Uh, yeah, well there's a lot of that going on." He mumbled. At Emma's quizzical look, he said, "I mean, umm… what are you confused about?"

"How will the baby be both my sister and your sister?"

They were now in the kitchen. Rafe tried busying himself with fixing breakfast, hoping beyond hope that Emma would change the subject. He should have known that she wouldn't, since she was like her mother in that regard, too. Once she got a hold of something, she wanted answers.

"Cause we're a family," he answered over his shoulder, as he put two pieces of toast in the toaster. "Remember when I told you that families come in different ways?"

"Yeah, I remember. But, don't those families live together?" He saw where this was going.

"Em," he began, as he walked over to the table and kneeled down to look her in her eyes. "I don't know when, or if, you'll be movin' back here. But that doesn't mean we're not a family. A family is love…and I love you mucho, okay?"

"Okay…but I still wish we were a real family. I mean, our Moms like being together, so why can't we move back here?"

"Well… ahem…it's just not that easy. I mean, your Mom was really mad when my Mom left."

"I know. I was, too, for a little while. But I knew that she was coming back. If she wasn't, she would have told us all goodbye. So I stopped being mad, and just waited. Plus, since they're having a sleepover, I don't think they're mad anymore."

"You might just be right." He laughed.

* * *

"Olivia!" Natalia called, nudging the sleeping woman besides her. "I think the kids are home." She thought that she had heard the bedroom door closing earlier, but dismissed it. However, now she was pretty sure she had, since the smell of bacon and toast was coming up the stairs. "And…I think that they were in here earlier."

"What??" With that, the other woman became fully awake. "You sure?" Seeing her lover nod, she smiled, and said, "Then I'm real glad that you woke me up a few hours ago, to make love again, and then made me put on a shirt."

"So am I." Sighing, Natalia started to rise, only to be stopped by a hand on her wrist.

"You okay?"

"Yeah…I guess I'm just a little nervous…"

"Sweetie, it'll be okay. Emma loves you, and Rafe and I have made our peace. I know that we all still have some things to work through, but it'll all work out." With that, she slowly placed a kiss on Natalia's lips. "Now, let's finish dressing, so we can go talk to the kids."

Once dressed, they made their way down the stairs, pausing outside of the kitchen door. "You ready?" Rubbing the back of her hand against Olivia's cheek, Natalia nodded, "As ready as I'll ever be."

"Morning, Jellybean. Rafe." Olivia held Natalia's hand tightly in hers. She figured that they would just act like nothing out of the ordinary was happening, and see how Emma reacted. With her right hand, she pulled a mug from the dish drainer and poured herself a cup of coffee. She needed a quick sip for some liquid courage.

"Hi, Mommy. Hi, Natalia." Emma said, in between bites of her breakfast.

"Hey, Ma. Olivia." Rafe looked briefly at their joined hands. "Blake tried calling, but I guess the lines were down. So, she asked me to bring the munchkin over."

"Thanks, Rafe, I really appreciate it." He simply shrugged his shoulders before turning back to his meal. Olivia wasn't sure how to judge his reaction, but at least he didn't make a snarky comment or storm off. It was a start.

"Mom, can I go check on the ducks?"

"Sure, Emma, but don't take too long; it's still wet outside, and I don't want you to get a cold." With that, she put down her coffee cup and turned towards the table.

The little girl was hardly out the door before the older woman got her answer about Rafe and his feelings.

"Make sure the door is locked next time, okay? I mean, no guy wants to see his…his parental… units all… all hugged up and stuff. And, if you guys are moving back in, then you really need to talk to Em."

"You're right, Rafe. We're sorry. And we plan on telling her today," Olivia said, while trying to hide a grin at his use of "parental" when referring to her and his mother.

"_Si, hijo_. From now on, we'll make sure that the door is locked." Dropping her love's hand, Natalia leaned over and kissed his forehead. "Thank you for accepting this. It means a lot to me." When she leaned back, Olivia reached over and plucked a piece of bacon off Rafe's plate.

"Hey!"

"What?" She asked innocently. "I'm just asserting one of my parental unit rights."

"Pee Eww." Emma laughed. Three sets of eyes looked over at her for explanation, as she walked through the door. "Paa-rental Unit. P and U. Get it?"

"Yeah, Em, we get it." Smiling, Olivia walked over and ruffled her hair.

"I'm gonna go check and make sure that there was no damage to the house, from the storm." With that, Rafe got up and started for the door, turning back to mouth to the two women, "Talk to her now."

Once he was out the door, Olivia once again took Natalia's hand and, looking at Emma said, "Honey, Natalia and I want to talk to you for a minute." At the look of bewilderment on her daughter's face, Natalia hastily added, "Sweetie, you're not in trouble or anything…we just need to discuss something with you."

"Oh…'kay."

Sitting down and the table across from their little girl, Olivia rested her hand on Natalia's thigh, under the table. She needed the security that her lover provided. "You know how much we love you, right?" At the young girl's nod, she went on. "Well…we, Natalia and I, love each other, too. In fact, we're in love with each other. Do you know what that means?"

"Yeah…I think so. Like Lizzie and Bill, right?"

"That's right, baby. I love your mother the way that your sister loves Bill." Natalia said. "And she loves me the same way."

"So…" she began, her little brow furrowing as she thought things through. "Does that mean that you're gonna get married like they did? And kiss and stuff?"

"Uh…well, baby, yes one day…" They hadn't talked about marriage per say, but Olivia was sure that's what Natalia wanted, and she wanted nothing more than to make her love happy. Now wasn't the time to explain to the little girl that it wouldn't be soon, as Illinois hadn't gotten their heads out of their asses where same sex marriage was concerned, nor adoption by same sex couples. So, instead, she just said what was in her heart. "Even though we haven't had a ceremony, in my heart, Natalia is my wife…and your mother. And mommies who love each other the way we do…yes, they hug…and kiss."

"Okay."

"You're okay with us hugging and kissing?"

"Yeah, I don't see why you do it, but it's okay." _God, please let her feel that way for a long while_, Olivia thought, for she wasn't relishing the idea of a teenage Emma dating in a few years.

"I do have a question, though." They should have known that their youngest would have at least one more question; she was a bright and inquisitive kid.

"Families like us live together. Don't they?" Both women knew where this was headed, so they just smiled and nodded in unison. "Yay! When can we move back? Can we do it today? I don't need all my stuff, just some of it. Please!!"

"I think that's a great idea, Em. You can go get some things now, and we'll get the rest later." Olivia quickly turned at the statement, and looked into smiling brown eyes. "I'm sure." Natalia whispered at the unasked question.

"Then it's settled. Let me grab something to eat, and another cup of coffee, and we'll go get our stuff."

"Do you need some help?" Rafe asked. They hadn't heard him enter.

"Yes, thanks."

"No problem. That's what families do, right?"

"Rafe, did you know that your mom and my mom love each other and that they kiss and stuff…like you and Ashlee?"

"Yes, I knew that they loved each other…but, uh…me and Ashlee don't kiss, short stuff." The last thing he wanted was to talk about his love life in front of the two women now smiling at him.

"Yes, you do. Rafe and Ashlee sitting a tree. K-i-ss-ing." Emma sang, as she tried to keep out of her big brother's reach. However, he soon caught her and proceeded to tickle her.

Watching her children kidding each other and, with recent events, the realization that she now thought of Rafe as her own, brought joy, but also a longing. After her heart surgery, Olivia had never thought about having more children; however, starting a new life with Natalia had changed that. Suddenly, it occurred to her: why stop there? Natalia loved children and, although they hadn't yet discussed it, she was sure that Natalia wouldn't mind having at least one more. Maybe another son. If she looked hard enough, she would swear that she could see a little tousled dark-haired boy of about 3 sitting at the end of the table. And the most amazing thing was that her youngest son had emerald eyes.

_Could it be?_ As she asked herself the question, Olivia was filled with a warmth…and a certainty like she had never felt before.

"Honey, are you okay?" Natalia whispered, wrapping her arms around her love's waist and leaning her head on her shoulder.

Nodding, Olivia replied, "I think I finally get it…faith."

"Really?"

Turning in Natalia's arms she continued, "Well, maybe not the religious kind…but the firm belief in something. In the belief that what we have is real…and meant to be."

"Oh, Olivia. I love you so much."

"I love you, too, with all my heart, and I plan on spending every day showing you." Tears were now starting to slide down her cheeks. Once she would have felt ashamed for anyone to see this side of her. But, now, she wanted her kids to witness the love that she had for their mother.

"Then it was worth it, wasn't it?" At her beloved questioning look, Natalia went on. "All the battles?"

"Yes, it was." And with that, Olivia took Natalia in her arms and kissed her, as their children looked on.

THE END


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